Breastfeeding: The Main Reason

Well- World Breastfeeding Week is officially over! I have enjoyed doing these posts and really hope someone learned something or at least laughed or maybe nodded in recognition.

To wrap up this week today I'm going to share the main reason I enjoy breastfeeding. I'll try to keep it short and sweet since all of my other posts were long.

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Being a working mom has always been a struggle for me. Everyday I leave my heart at daycare with the boys while my body goes to work. Yes I love what I do but miss my children incredibly.

There are times I am "okay" with the fact that I'm a working mom. And then there are moments when I wonder why God would put this desire so strongly in my heart if it's not possible.

There are low times when I become extremely jealous of stay-at-home-moms. When I hear them say what all they do in the day and I want to say "Yeah? Well I have to do almost all of that in just a few hours in the evening! AND it's also the only time I get with the boys so honestly I want to chuck my cooking, cleaning, washing, bathing responsibilities out the window and just hold my kids- but I can't. I know your kids drive you crazy being with them all day. But imagine the ache not having much time with them. Or missing their first steps. It hurts so bad."

I'm thankful that the "low times" that leave me in tears are few and far between. God knows exactly what I need. When I get in those moods He almost immediately starts showing me the benefits of what I do. Benefits my kids are receiving by getting a lot of time with peers at daycare. Benefits for my patients who pretty much want to make me sign a contract that I will never leave the office because I'm "the best hygienist ever and I never hurt them!" Benefits for me- that although hard on my body and hands- I DO enjoy what I do. The time with other adults. Making a difference. Dissolving fears. Educating. And I know in my heart that He has a reason for this season of my life being a working mom.

Breastfeeding for me has been a way to reconnect with my baby at the end of a work day.

I may not be there to change his diapers or play with him or give him his lunch or read books or watch him learn to clap or walk (you miss a lot of firsts when you are away unfortunately)- but breastfeeding? Comforting him in that way? Nourishing his body with my own? That is something I can do for him. Only me.

It's my time to look at his little face. To hold his hand and think "man, I've got to cut your nails." To let him take his hand and sweetly touch my cheek or even grab my glasses and throw them across the room.

It's our time.

Just him and me.

The reconnection that breastfeeding provides in a way feels like it wipes our slate clean. Both of us are comforted by it. It's like taking a deep breath when you didn't even realize you were holding your breath. And afterwards I can tell by the way he happily sits up, wiggles down and crawls away that he's saying to me "I'm good now Momma"

And just like that.

I'm good too.