The good kind of sick

I've been sort of sick lately. Nauseated. Super tired. Blah. Grumpy. Cranky. Emotional.

But it's ok.

It's the good kind of sick. The kind of sick that results from a baby growing inside of me.

Surprise baby #3 is due August 2013.

We're thrilled and a little shocked. My first two children are 3 1/2 years apart so the fact that Luke and the new baby will be about 23 months is a little nerve wrecking but we'll make it work!

The pregnancy blahs has kept me from blogging lately (or cleaning my house or doing laundry- my poor 4 yr old ran out of clean underwear the other day- mom fail) so I have some catching up to do in all areas of my life.

Just wanted to drop in and share the surprise!

Nathan's Preschool Christmas Program

Last night Nathan had his Preschool Christmas Program. It was just 20 minutes of 4 year olds singing Christmas songs but it was so cute and they all did very well. The girls definitely brought the attitude! They were cracking me up. Nathan sang but not as enthusiastically since he got a little shy. It was his first time in front of a crowd. We had been practicing the songs and he sang every one. I was so proud of him (except for when he picked his nose and ate it...ewww!! boys!). 

In the car about to go inside. He was excited!

Our little family

Brother hugs

About to begin!

Luke enjoying the singing.

Nathan and his preschool teacher.

Here's a video of the "red" song. I just had to share this one because of the girl in the red dress on the top row. She was hilarious. Watch her at the end. Too funny.

And here's another!

The Mr. Banks Syndrome

Sometimes I'm a little too much like this guy...

Yanno. Mr. Banks? The dad from Mary Poppins?

If you haven't seen it- the dad is a little too serious when it comes to his kids acting like kids. He wants them to grow up now and put childishness aside.

I'm sometimes a strange mixture of seriousness and silliness. I am usually quick to be silly with my children. Doing a funny voice, playing peekaboo, making up a song, making funny faces, tickle attacks. However, lately I too often have been expecting Nathan to...well, not act like a child.

This doesn't have to do with behavior issues---more along the lines of sometimes being annoyed at his childishness. It's like occasionally I wish he was this adult in a little 4 yr old's body. I find myself rushing him into adulthood.

It's like when I'm annoyed that my dog is being a dog and has dog needs. I really have no right to be annoyed at something for being what it is.

Please don't get me wrong---I LOVE my children and I love that they ARE children but sometimes the "kid" in them causes friction with the "adult" in me.

Mr. Banks wanted his kids to grow up and everyone kept reminding him "they are just children." I need to keep reminding myself "Nathan is only a child" and soak in every bit of his innocence and childhood while I can. Because before long he will be all too serious (with some silly mixed in, hopefully)

Parenthood is hard because we're supposed to prepare them for adulthood, help shape who they will become, but do it in an ever so delicate pace. Too fast and you push so hard you run over their childhood. Too slow and they become immature.

I prayed this morning for God to remind me that Nathan is still little. That he's just a small child.

It didn't take long for Him to answer my prayer.

Usually when I wake Nathan up in the morning he rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom. This morning I went into his room and woke him up and he immediately flew into my arms. He needed me to hold him for a minute. He needed to be a little 4 yr old being comforted by his mommy.

I don't know if he had a bad dream or what. But I do know in that moment, feeling his small form wrapped around me, God reminded me that he is still a small child. That embrace warmed my heart and melted some of the selfishness inside of me (because I know most annoyances stem from my own selfishness)

I'm grateful for my silly, childish, first born and I'm glad he's still small enough for me to hold like a baby.

Hopefully somewhere along the journey of parenthood I will stumble upon that perfect pace---to run alongside my children encouraging them but also leading them in the right direction. Embracing their childishness every step of the way.

My Week (sort of) in Pictures...

(I said "sort of" in the title of this post because a few of these aren't exactly from this past week but are still pictures I would like to share)

My aunt made this snowman wreath...too cute!

Me and my good friend Dana at a women's event at church.

Listening to a sweet little girl sing at the event.

Facetiming with my uncle and dad when he was out of town.

All day shopping trip with my mom!

I made this Christmas wreath for my door. I'm not in love with it but it's sorta cute.

Someone posted this on fb and I thought it was the cutest thing ever.

 Girl's Night Out to the Princess Diana Exhibit

Trying on a hat in the store... 

 This is why Marcus says I'm not allowed to open boxes.

I quickly get frustrated and just rip them open like a wild beast.

Nathan with attitude :o)

At my friend Nichole's baby shower.

Nichole and baby Israel!

(they posted this on instagram, hopefully they don't

mind me sharing!)

I posted this post a few months ago about The Marshall family and their journey into parenthood. We are all beyond thrilled that they have welcomed this sweet little baby boy into their family! Check out their blog (here) if you want to read more about their story or see more pics of sweet baby Israel.

Awww, Nuts! (Part 2)

Yesterday I took Luke in for his allergy testing. At first I was told they would be doing the needle test but at the last second they said it will be the oil test. I was glad he wouldn't experience any pain, of course, but I had not read anything about the oil test and it's accuracy.

The would be testing for milk allergy, eggs, wheat, soy, etc. 10 different foods. They couldn't test for a peanut allergy with this type of test.

Throughout the whole appointment I had the feeling like they didn't really know what they were doing. Granted they said that this is a new test so that might have been it. But I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt because I'm sure there are many many times I don't seem like I know what I'm doing but I do :o)

Waiting for instructions...

After debating if they would be testing his leg or his back they settled on his back and told me he would need to lay perfectly still for 15 minutes on his stomach so the oils don't run. Um. He's 1? Lay perfectly still for 15 minutes? I envisioned holding a screaming Luke down for a long 15 minutes but we got the idea for me to lay back in the chair and for him to lay on me.

(ignore my freakish looking neck, lol)

I put snacks on the top part of my chest along my neckline and he laid there happily eating the whole time. I was so proud of him! But then again whenever food is involved-- he's game.

"I'm not sure what that lady is putting on my back but oh hey! snacks!!" -Luke

Here's a picture of the results. The biggest spot is the histamine test to make sure the person doesn't have an antihistamine in their system so that one doesn't indicate an allergy.

In almost every spot an oil was places he got a red mark and a small hive. I'm not sure if those are allergic reactions or not. I did go ahead and request a blood test since that is the most accurate way to test for an allergy. Although we are pretty sure he has a peanut allergy I still would feel better seeing an actual test prove so instead of only my speculation.

 Later the nurse called to tell me that the doctor okay'ed my request for a blood test and that they will test for all nuts and other foods. We'll have to take Luke in soon for that and then it will take 2-3 weeks for results in which the doctor will go over that blood test and the oil test with me. Hopefully soon we will know more!

Extreme "Ough-oh"ing (Randoms)

Luke is officially in the ough oh phase. It's adorable. I wish I had a dollar for every time he says it- I would be rich. Very. Very. Rich.

In the car he gets creative and says it but he drags it out and adds all types of sounds. Grunts, gurgles, giggles, animalistic noises. So it's like "ooooougghhhh (looooong grunt) (unidentifiable baby talk) ooohhhhhh (loud squeal) oooohhh"

We have named it extreme ough-oh-ing.

Look for it in the next summer olypmics.

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It was one of those lovely busy weekends. Busy but full of fun things (which equals cranky kids)

I usually don't do weekend recap posts so I'll keep this short (or try to, at least)

Saturday we went to our good friends, the Hallidays, to celebrate their daughter's 8th birthday. She was around 2 years old when I first met them and I can't believe the once baby cheeked, braided pig tail wearing girl is 8 years now!

I've sort of gotten into the habit of making her something for her birthday. Last year I made a comic book for her with her as the main character (along with a mask and cape)

This year I did some crayon art to make her something for her room (melting crayons is so fun...seriously, you have to try it)

We ended the day with putting the kids to bed early and watching a movie and eating pizza. I kept falling asleep around 9pm. 9 PM! I'm usually wide eyed til almost midnight.

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Today we had church and then more church. Our church had a volunteer appreciation event today. We have been serving in the church nursery for over 4 years now. It's fun and challenging and I'm super super grateful for all of our volunteers.

I keep forgetting my camera when we go places but they had a "photo booth" so we got this shot.

(Luke was in the nursery- they had childcare for 2 and under)

They had food and inflatables for the kids. It was pretty fun.

Now we're home and hopefully about to put up our Christmas tree. I'm the "yay let's decorate!!!" type person and Marcus is the more practical "if it doesn't have a function- it's not necessary" type. Meaning I have to convince him that the Christmas tree is important or I'll be stuck dragging it in from the garage alone.

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Luke has a month left of his helmet. Although I'm looking forward to seeing his poofy red hair every day and his head not stinking- I am concerned about it.

9 months of the helmet has led to some bad habits. Namely- bashing his head on everything. It's so hard to teach a toddler not to do something! I fear the helmet will be gone and in it's place will be many bumps and bruises.

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My hair is growing on me. Everyone likes it it seems except me. But I washed it 5 times yesterday and it faded a bit so I like it a little more. It was just shocking to never have your hair dyed (other than some highlights) and then go from light brown/blonde to dark/bright red. It's just hair. It doesn't matter very much- yet every woman knows that how we look mainly to ourselves is important to us.

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Have a great week! Off I go to decorate...hopefully :)

Home

I didn't mention it on here but Marcus has been away for work for most of November. He rarely travels for work (last year he did go to Paris)- maybe 1-2 times a year he travels. So for him to be away for most of a month is new to us.

For a part of November he was in Atlanta and yesterday he got back from being in Belgium.

Although certain aspects of his being away are nice (movie and ice cream at midnight alone) I must admit we missed him A TON. Especially this week. It's probably been my hardest week parenting Nathan. He was just off this week for several reasons (daddy away, he has a cough, routine different).

Luke's been asking for "Daa Daa" a lot around the house. One time he saw the blankets lumped on Marcus' side of the bed and was beyond excited thinking Marcus was beneath them.

Yesterday I took the boys to the airport to greet Marcus. I had planned it a few days prior but kept it a secret from Marcus.


Here we are waiting, eating, and being silly.

Nathan ran into his buddy from daycare, David

Nathan and I made a sign for Daddy

He's home!!!!

 Enjoying the moving walkway...

We are so glad and grateful to have Daddy home. We all missed him!

Hairs

I was bored with my hair. Other than an occasional hair cut and maybe some highlights it hasn't really changed in about 15 years. I have never had it dyed other than the highlights.

I mentioned to my mom that I wanted to do something completely different with it and she offered to pay for it as my Christmas present. Plus, I'm one of those people who get gray hair really early (started getting it when I was 16) and when I put my hair up for work it was getting pretty obvious. I'm not yet 30- I didn't want my gray showing anymore.

So today---this is what I did! Eeeee...tell me what you think...

My color inspiration....(I was going for light burnette with a hint of red)

BEFORE

DURING

(super nervous)

AFTER

side by side...

I like it. 

Do I love it? No.

But I do like it. I don't quite love it because it is more red than I wanted. A little more of the "fake red" if you know what I mean and I'm one of those girls that like things to look natural. I think when it fades I may like it more. It's pretty in the pictures...in person it's just so....red and bright.

I'm interested to see what the boys think when I pick them up from daycare hehe. And Marcus! You know how men never notice when you change something? Well...he better notice today...

:)

Awww, Nuts!!

When Luke was born we immediately noticed that he has super sensitive skin. His ezcema was so bad at one point that his skin was oozing plasma.

It cleared up mostly but lately it's been bad again and I keep seeing him scratch and scratch at it.

Knowing he's my "sensitive" boy (both body and emotions) I kind of joked that I bet he'll be the one allergic to everything.

A few months ago I gave him his first taste of peanut butter in the form of a pb cracker. I can't really remember his reaction but I do remember the next time he had one. His whole face broke out with red blotches with white welt looking bumps or lines.

Immediately I was like "he's allergic!" and ran to give him a bath. Marcus looked closer at him and said "no, I think he just scratched himself up with the cracker." oh. That made sense to me. With his sensitive skin that was definitely a possibility and I did see him sort of scratching his face with the cracker.

So recently I decided to give him a pb and j sandwich that was soft so if he reacted I would know for sure it was the peanut butter and not the cracker.

This is what he looked like after he ate it.

(his cheeks were red before hand from ezcema but the redness around his mouth and chin appeared after the peanut butter)
(his eye is okay- it's pressure from the helmet that makes his left eye lid push down because it puts a lot of pressure on that part of his forehead since that's the part of his head that protrudes)

About a week later I did a skin test on him. I just rubbed a little pb on his arm. Not long after he had a small red circle with a white bump in the middle. A friend who is has educated herself a lot regarding food allergies because her son has them told me this sounds like a classic hive reaction.

The day before Thanksgiving I took Luke to the ENT and allergy doctor and explained the situation. He said that from what I did and saw that I have pretty much proven that he has a peanut allergy and to avoid all peanuts and other nuts (the similar protein strand of other nuts can also set off a reaction)

We talked a while about food allergies and his ezcema. 20% of people with peanut allergies out grow it so there's a good chance he'll always be allergic. We talked about different testing options and he said a new blood test will be available in a few months that is much better than the current one so we should wait for that.

Meanwhile he recommended a skin prick test to see if he is allergic to other foods.

Next Friday I will be taking Luke in to get his little chubby thighs poked again and again to check for allergies. I know it's going to break my heart but I also know that it is going to help him if we know what to avoid. Hopefully it will help clear his ezcema some and stop his frequent diarrhea and random rashes (I have to apply a cream topical anesthetic on his thighs an hour before the testing so that will help with some of the pain)

Meanwhile I have been reading up some about myths and truths about food allergies and different tests. There is a TON of information out there and it's tricky because some of it is false. Food allergies are somewhat unpredictable because every kid is different and in the past there hasn't been a lot of testing.

We now have Epi Pens on us at all times and also at daycare. You never know with a food allergy what the reaction could be if exposed. Sometimes it can be mild, sometimes severe and life threatening. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

I just keep thinking about reeses cups and snickers and all the lovely yummies that contain peanut butter that Luke won't be a able to have. Of course missing out on stuff like that isn't a big deal but still...I love me some snickers :)

Please pray for us regarding his skin prick testing. I hope I can be there for him and not fall apart if he gives me that look. The "why is this happening to me" look (it doesn't sounds like it's a quick thing and then done, the pokes will take a little bit). I know the information we gain will be worth it although there is still guessing involved since you have to take much more into account than just the skin prick test. Pray for me as we travel this crazy road of allergies that's so new to me since they don't really run in our families.

Thank you so much and I'll keep the blog updated about it.

And then there was one...

Nathan spent this last weekend at his grandma's house (having a blast, going to the cirus, etc) so I just had Luke for the whole weekend.

It was so stinkin' easy. One kid.

It made me think back to when Nathan was that age and I only had one kid. Did it feel easy? No. Was I incorrect at that time for thinking one kid was hard? No. It's just that my perspective has changed.

Just like if a mom of four only has two kids at home for a day or two. Those two kids would seem so easy compared to the four.

Luke missed Nathan while he was gone so I ended up playing some home videos of Nathan and looked at some pictures on the computer. Seeing pictures of Nathan when he was Luke's age brought back all sorts of memories and the doubts that sometimes flooded my head back then.

Nathan, a little over 1 year old 

(first oreo experience)

Luke watching videos of Nathan

I think with our first child in some ways we don't quite feel validated as a parent yet. We haven't proved ourselves yet. We haven't experienced enough mommy moments to think "yeah, I got this." We want things to be perfect and sometimes feel bad when they aren't.

I think with the second (and third and fourth) kid we let a lot of that go. We know we are capable of parenting. We loosen up some.

Now, of course there are moments when we feel overwhelmed and incapable. But God designed motherhood to be like that. If we never felt that way we wouldn't turn to Him and lean on Him to sustain us. We can't do it alone.

It can be so easy to look at a mom with only one child and think "girl, you don't know how easy you've got it! I have ____ kids running around at home. One is easy peasy"...but we must not forget. We must hang onto the memory of when we were that. When one kid was hard.

It's good for our perspective to change. Yet we can't completely let go of what it was before.

Happy Thanksgiving!

From my family to yours...

Laugh a lot today.

 Look for the good and be thankful for that. 

For there is good in almost every situation.

Have a great holiday!!!