Let's just call that a dress rehearsal ok?

I'm a little paranoid about my blood pressure while pregnant. Two pregnancies with preeclampsia will do that to a gal. Thankfully for most of this pregnancy it has been perfect. 

Until last night.

The last several days it has been sneaking up a bit. Higher than my norm but lower than the "call us if it reaches this" level at 140/90. Last night after the boys were in bed and I had been chilling on the couch for awhile (watching So You Think You Can Dance- yes I love that show) I decided to check it. 155/100. A fluke right? Rested some- checked again. 150/95. 15 minutes later 160/100. Hmmm.

I was starting to get a bit concerned especially since I had rested for a long time before I took it. Had Marcus take it himself. He got 145/95 at that point. 20 mins later I was getting 150/100 again.

Ok- I needed to call the doctor. I kept hesitating though just knowing that if I went into the hospital that it would probably be fine and I'd get sent home. Plus this is the week that my normal doctor isn't in town so of course I was hoping to make it til next week. But after about 7 high readings with trying to rest as much as possible I did call the doctor on call and he said to head to labor and delivery (with my bags- just in case) 

My aunt and my mom came to stay with the boys and late last night we headed to the hospital, bags and all. I kept telling Marcus we'll most likely get sent home although my mom was certain that this was it.

My blood pressure was high when I first got there but after resting on my left side on the uncomfortable hospital bed and relaxing the best my nervous excitement omgareweabouttohaveabaaaabbby let me- it started to go down. And kept going down. Even to the point Marcus was like "are you alive?" Haha.

So a few hours later I was sent home after a good discussion with the on call doctor about taking it easy this week and doing a mild bed rest. Of course my mind kept wandering to my dirty kitchen and how I would try to rest but still get that darn kitchen clean somehow. That kitchen was my final phase of nesting and my silly type A personality would feel much better about going to have a baby if I had a clean kitchen to come home to. For real.

Turns out some of my labs were off quite a bit which may or may not have attributed to the temporary high bp. But for now no baby quite yet! Soon enough we'll meet this baby boy of ours. I'm grateful that my bp went down and both myself and Kevin are okay.

And I'm also grateful that I came home at 2am to a sparkling kitchen! Apparently my aunt and mom went to town cleaning it for me while we were away. Hmph. Guess I have no choice other than to actually relax this week now.

I do feel guilty that Marcus had to go to work on little sleep today. Well...until a friend reminded me that soon I'll be the very sleep deprived parent who will be going to work after nursing in the middle of the night.

Good point :)

8 years

It's my wedding anniversary. I'll try not to get all sappy (although being 9 months pregnant that can be very difficult to avoid) but I just want to take a second to praise God for this man named Marcus in my life.

At church yesterday as I felt God's presence and the presence of the man beside me, my very best friend, it took everything in me not to break down and cry. I just feel so completely blessed.

Our marriage changes every month, every year because we are constantly changing ourselves. God changes our hearts and our perspectives on a regular basis and we truly aren't the same somewhat naive 22 yr olds who said "I do" eight years ago.

He's the first person I want to tell something exciting to. He's the person that I enjoy making laugh the most- even if he's laughing AT me. He sees me at my best. He sees me at my ugliest and loves me anyways.

He's been a huge part of my life for these 8 years and the 3 years before that when we dated. He truly wooed me back then. I felt like a princess and even now with swollen feet and raging hormones I still do. I take comfort in knowing he would do anything for me even when life's not so pretty.

A friend on Facebook shared this post the other day (Link: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/07/when-you-think-your-love-story-is-boring/) and I read it out loud to Marcus. It sums him up perfectly. No- he's never ran through an airport for me to stop me from getting on a plane. We might not have had many movie magic romantic moments- but those things are so fleeting. I have what truly matters. A marriage, although sometimes messy, that is based on God and His values.

He's taught me many many things. Mostly how to love and how to forgive. Even how to forgive myself which can be the hardest thing. He's taught me that if you are doing what is right in God's eyes then it really doesn't matter what other people think.

The longer we are married the more I realize that the saying that "love is a choice, not a feeling" is so so true. Many times I feel in love, sometimes I don't. But we choose to love each other every single day and I'm so grateful for a loving, solid, caring husband in my life and father to our boys.

Happy Anniversary Babe!

Maternity Photos

Two weeks ago I asked my friend Sarah if she would do the big favor of bringing her camera to a cookout the following day and take a few maternity photos for me. It was sort of impromptu but gave me an excuse to shoo Marcus out the door to finally get a haircut ::wink::

She had never taken maternity photos and I had never been the subject of them. So in the mist of kids playing in sprinklers and people barbecuing we took a few minutes to capture these in the less than likely of circumstances. She did a great job and I'm super grateful for these. When I look back on these photos I'll remember my older boys running around screaming "Mommy!!!", the fear of possibly being the target of a water gun, relocating due to smoke from the grill, my skin going crazy from my grass allergy, and a dear friend who was willing to capture a moment in time before our third son arrives. Thanks Sarah!

Come on baby Kevin. Momma is ready to meet you.

Kevin's Nursery

I barely decorated Nathan's nursery when I had him. We were renting and couldn't paint and I was a zombie from the blood pressure medicine. He did have a really cute puppy theme though :)

When I got pregnant with Luke I immediately (ok well not exactly immediately) thought that I wanted to put a little more thought and effort into planning a nursing and getting to paint this time since we have our own home. Luke's theme was frogs and turtles.

(I took these photos with my camera so the colors are more "true" in 

these than in the low quality iphone pics in the next series of photos)

Now that Kevin is coming along within 2 years of Luke the nursery was pretty much ready for a baby besides a few little things. Kevin's theme is owls. Of course it's not quite as "put together" was it was for Luke since a toddler has been using it but it works.

(That amazing quilt on the glider was made by my former boss 

and 3 other women. They made it to specifically match the nursery 

colors for when I had Luke.)

(Ew the wall is not this yellow/green color- it's the iphone effect)

I still need to add Kevin's bird in the tree to represent him in our family. Marcus is the red bird, I'm the purple, Luke is blue and Nathan orange. I painted this when I was about 7-8 months pregnant with Luke. At least once a day after a diaper change Luke likes to point to each one and say hi to his birdies. He always gets tickled about "Dada bird" and starts giggling like the red bird is the funniest thing in the world.

We have moved Luke in with Nathan. Their sports room is still a little bit of a work in progress. I have several sports related things up on the walls and a sports valance for the window that I didn't get pics of.
I'm slightly obsessed with closet organzing.

Almost there. Come on baby Kevin!

A few days with Pig Mawmaw.

Marcus' parents are pig farmers. When Nathan was very little he started calling my mother-in-law "Pig Mawmaw" (which he completely came up on his own) and it stuck! For an end-of-summer trip he went to stay with Pig Mawmaw and Pig Pawpaw for a few days.

We all missed him, Luke the most. Every morning Luke would wake up and ask "Brah brah? Brah brah?" He even asked the dog once "Where Brah brah?" (Brah is his version of "brother")

Here is Luke saying goodbye to Nathan before he left for 4 days.

A few at the pig farm...(loving on kittens)

(I love that Nathan and my other boys are able to play in the same 

places their Daddy played when he was little)

 Swimming...

On his way home after 4 days of fun with Pig Mawmaw- he was tired!

Luke and Nathan were inseparable the first day he was back home.

They definitely missed each other!

Thanks Pig Mawmaw for the fun and for giving this 

very pregnant mommy a few days of only parenting one kid!

Lasagnas and Casseroles and...Bears? Oh my!

I didn't cook any meals ahead of time to freeze for when the boys were born. I honestly didn't even think about it.

But when a blog friend cooked enough for a little town to prepare for her second daughter (hi Brittany!) I thought what a good idea it was and that I definitely needed to do the same. Because, honestly, I don't even remember what (or if?) we ate after I had both boys. 

My friend Amy (my bestie in High School and whom I've known for 17 years now- wow that makes me feel old) lives far far away like a lot of my friends. But she was in town for a week and offered to come over for a "freezer day" to cook cook cook and stock up meals for after Kevin comes.

After some recipe finding and meal planning on Amy's part- yesterday we went to the grocery (sans kids woot!) and then spent the whole day at my house cooking up a storm. 

9 hours of cooking, 3 lasagnas, 4 casseroles, 2 stir fries, and 1 beef stew later we were both exhausted and glad to be finished. 

what to do when you run out of containers to hold a gazillion pasta? Use a drink pitcher!

Of course I can't spend the whole day in a kitchen without there being some sort of disaster because well...I'm accident prone. But this time it wasn't me who broke something (shocker!)- It was Amy. The ceramic part of my crock pot slipped out of her hands and shattered all over the kitchen.

Oops.

Although she felt awful I totally didn't mind because it can be replaced and I was just happy no one was hurt. Luke was standing nearby so he could have been hit or it could have landed on Amy's foot. Soo soo glad it wasn't worse. I just didn't want her to feel bad because of the crock pot. After all she had spent the whole day cooking for me and my family and I appreciated it so much (so DON'T feel bad Amy ok?)

We took an hour to rest in the middle of our cooking for a yummy meal with our families. Amy's husband, Andy, joined us and their adorable 2 year old Barrett (lovingly called Bear)

(celebrating Amy's bday a few days before)

(I definitely am sporting my pregnancy face. Wide nose, squinty eyes, puffy cheeks, yeeeep)

Now I'm a little more prepared for a newborn in the house with a bunch of freezer food.

 Thanks for the fun day Amy!

Mission Complete!

Now to move on to the other things on my to-do list...

even the dog

Ever have those several weeks in your life  (or months or years) where it sort of feels like you are on a roller coaster? Good news, bad news, good news. I guess that's just life in general huh?

It feels like we have been on a ride of ups and downs lately. Thankfully nothing serious but still...I'm a girl that likes consistency and calm.

Having been on bed rest with high blood pressure with both boys I'm really hoping to avoid that this time around. A few weeks ago I felt weird and took my blood pressure. It was high.

And so the roller coaster felt like it was going down.

Thankfully it's been pretty normal since then.

up

Last weekend the boys and Marcus got sick with a stomach virus.

down

It only lasted 24 hours.

up

Thought I had developed an umbilical hernia after discovering a sharp pain and knot behind my belly button and therefore went several days trying not to pick up my 1 year old (which makes public temper tantrums much more tricky when you can't just pick the kid up to relocate)

down

Knot went away after Kevin dropped down a bit and doctor said it was nothing to worry about.

up

Finding out that our refinance may cost much more than we thought.

down

Closing on our refinance and finding out it actually costs us less than we thought- saving us a lot each month which is great since we're about to pay an arm and leg for three in daycare/after school care.

up

Second round of the stomach virus hit the boys this weekend. Vomiting and diarrhea and thank goodness for swim diapers that fit my 5 year old or else there would have been much more laundry.

down

Getting to visit with my high school best friend who is in town this weekend/week.

up

Boys started to feel better except I, being 35 weeks pregnant, was not spared this time around. Viruses are horrible anyways but while pregnant? Not fun.

down

After a desperate plea for prayers I started to feel much better after a few days and am now just trying to get my strength back.

up

The dog starts to shake and then later proceeds to get sick too. More vomit to clean up (seriously, there is just nothing worse)

down

Turns out that if your sick 1 year old walks around with poop leaking out of his diaper and through the leg hole of his pants (sorry for the visual but such is life) that it's NOT healthy if your dog discovers it first. Ew. Bad dog.

A few more weeks before baby Kevin arrives! I'm getting more excited every day to meet him yet I hope that these next weeks will be a little more calm with no more sickness for anyone. Now off to do more laundry and clean the bathrooms because the whole family sick at once? Um yeeeeeah. 

Anticipate Joy

I remember walking into the labor and delivery room 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby completely scared to death. I saw the hospital bed and froze in place thinking that's where it's going to happen...

Throughout the labor process, having no idea what I was doing and tired of being drugged up on blood pressure medicine for months, I did not once think "I'm about to meet my son!"

I was so incredibly wrapped up in the immediate situation, feeling lost and afraid and unsure of everything. My brain might as well had been spaghetti because I promise you that bp medicine dopes you up and you can't think much beyond immediate needs. I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. That hurts.

26 hours later I pushed Nathan out of my body and it was literally the first moment that it dawned on me why we were there. I saw him and one single tear rolled down my face. I saw him and thought He's here!!! and I fell in love. Still scared and lost and unsure- but it felt like I at least then had a connection to reality.

Throughout my first pregnancy I kept thinking of the lack of sleep, the poopy diapers, the never getting a chance to shower. Yes this baby was wanted although he was a complete surprise after being told it may be difficult to conceive and going sometimes 5 months with no cycle.

But I didn't anticipate joy. I didn't think of the love that would grow in my heart for this new being that God knit together cell by cell inside of me. I didn't realize that although children are a lot of work that it fades in the background compared to how much they mean to you. How much they will change you and every aspect of your life.

As I near the end of my pregnancy with my third son I sometimes get overwhelmed with the thoughts of what's coming. Adjusting to two was actually easy for me for the most part. A lot of that is attributed to the fact that my oldest was 3 1/2 when Luke came along. He was potty trained. He could get water for himself if he was thirsty. He was easily entertained and understood the changes that our family was going through. There were no jealousy issues.

Luke will still be one when Kevin arrives. This whole toddler and newborn thing is new territory for me and this mama gets worried sometimes.

When I fall down that black hole of worry, when it starts to snowball to the point of a scrunched up forehead, tension in my muscles and almost hyperventilating- I am reminded. Anticipate joy. I repeat it in my mind a few times.

Anticipate joy.

Anticipate joy.

God is constantly revealing to me the power of perspective. It's everything, really. I've talked to people in horrible pain and who have lost everything who are just grateful that they have air in their lungs and that God's mercies are new every morning. I've talked to people that have everything but are far from peace and contentment. It's all about perspective.

So that's my focus right now as things get more and more uncomfortable as my body is currently a temporary living space for another sweet growing baby boy. To simply anticipate joy.