not so short ramblings

The Sickies and Second Guessing

Last week Luke got pretty sick. It started with a nasty diaper on Wednesday morning and by that night he had a 104 temp.

I'm not the type to freak out about a fever. Fevers are good in a way- they help to fight off whatever is ailing you. I don't medicate my children for low grade fevers but since it was a higher one I did give him ibuprofen. But it wouldn't go down. At all. Stayed 104. Even with a lukewarm bath.

And oh the diapers. The diapers. Seriously, like 15 times a day or more he had diarrhea. I'm grateful this kid is still breastfed because otherwise I might had to worry about dehydration.

After a rough night I called the doctor on Thursday to see if it would even be worth bringing him in since he had his 1yr well visit already scheduled for the next day anyways. Plus, with the constant diarrhea and the high fever I assumed it was a virus that the doctor wouldn't be able to help with anyways.

The nurse said to just keep his appointment the next day but if his fever got higher to take him to the ER.

Marcus got home around 7, snuggled Luke and got a good look at him, and said I should take him to the ER because he looked awful.

He really did seem bad. At this point he couldn't even keep his eyes open because he was so out of it. Plus it seemed like the 104 temp was starting to creep higher.

The next hour and a half I played the "should I or shouldn't I?" game.

I would make up my mind to take him but before I packed the diaper bag I would tell myself  just wait til the morning. There is nothing the hospital can do for him. Then I would feel his forehead again and think I should take him but then it will just be a large bill that probably won't solve anything since it's most likely a virus. I would look into his glassy eyes and think but what if his fever gets higher tonight?

I heard my husband's voice in my head saying  just take him rival other opinions floating around in my mind. Where was my mother's instinct? Why wasn't I feeling a pull in one direction? Take him or wait it out? Should I just do it since Marcus, being the head of our household, thinks I should?

Back and forth. Gah. Why do I do that to myself? Why is it easier for Marcus to just decide and not second guess his decisions but for me to second guess many decisions I make?

I know it's because I want to make the best decisions for my kids and my family. However I wish I could be a little more firm in my choices like my husband is.

Finally at 8:30 something snapped in me- my mothering instinct kicked in. I decided although they probably can't help it would be better to take him. Marcus certainly thought I should and his opinion weighed heavier than anyone else's.

Marcus had to continue working from home so I quickly put Nathan to bed, grabbed the diaper bag and Luke and left for the emergency room.

Even on the drive there I was second guessing myself and felt like I needed affirmation for the decision I was making.

The hospital really didn't do much in the end. But with a larger dose of medicine they did get his fever down a few degrees. Later I was thinking that they should have at least tested for strep. But then again I was so tired I didn't think to request it.

(At the ER)

Although his fever went back up later that night I don't regret taking him to the hospital. Everything happens for a reason. Who knows- maybe if I didn't take him his fever would have inched past 105 and eventually led to a seizure or worse?

The next day the doctor ran a strep test and some basic blood work. Everything came back negative. He also thought it was a type of virus especially since Luke's spleen felt enlarged. He mentioned it could be hand, foot, and mouth disease because he did have some red spots in his throat. But I didn't really think that's what he had and the doctor didn't either but had to throw that out there.

(At the doctor)

He also mentioned it could be roseola which is a fairly common virus in children 6m to 3yr and that I would know if that was it if Luke broke out in a rash once the fever broke.

Sure enough- on Saturday- he did.

(roseola rash)

I was grateful that Monday I was off work for the holiday because Luke still felt pretty bad. On Tuesday it broke my heart a little to take him to daycare feeling awful but he was no longer contagious and since my sick time is gone at work I had no other choice. He didn't have a good day there- ate little- was fussy. But the girls took good care of him and by Thursday I felt like he was himself again. We are grateful that it ended up being something not too serious.

Seems like he's making his way through all the classic childhood diseases. What's next little guy? Please let momma stock up on some sick time first mmkay?

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Nathan

Oh this child of mine.

He is currently walking around with a third eye taped on his forehead claiming he is an alien.

On the way home from daycare today he was talking about how he's glad he doesn't live on the same planet that God flooded once and how he's glad that people on this planet know how to make cars because the people on Noah's planet had no cars. Hahahaha...son...you are a little confused. I love our converstations.

He can't wait to be a dad. He talks about it all the time. And how he wants 10 kids. Always 10. That he's going to need to work a lot to buy beds for his 10 kids. And that he just can't wait to boss them around. Apparently he thinks this parenting gig is all fun and no work. Haha kid. Ha. Ha.

Oh how he knows how to push my buttons. I'm stubborn. He's stubborn. And I feel like I'm arguing with myself many times. I would dread the teenage years with this one but I don't because I already feel like we're there. The questioning of my authority. The thinking he knows more than me. The attitude. I think my mom is secretly happy that I'm getting to experience what it was like raising me. Or not "happy" but glad I might understand what I put my parents through a little. I pray daily for help to raise this child because I'm going to need it. But what a joy he is. He makes my heart so happy.

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I can see!

I got new glasses last week. I love them. Well- I do now. At first I couldn't get used to the prescription. Everything looked too clear- like my eyes saw so well that it was tiring them out. And the depth perception was weird. Things far away looked too magnified. But it's a week later and I'm used to them and love them. Yay!

 

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The Melting Puddle

Today I bought a pair of capris to run in.

Wait. run? Wait a minute. I DON'T RUN! But...I'm going to. Hopefully. Maybe? I mean---yes. yes!I!AM!

I'm one of those people that whenever I attempted running in the past it felt like the pavement soaked all energy from my body in 2 nanoseconds and then I would melt like a puddle and seep to the side of the road like soup.

But I need to do something to get healthier. We don't have a membership to a gym so I figure this is something I can do in the afternoons once Marcus gets home a few times a week. I'm going to use the couch to 5k app. Someday it would be awesome to do a 5k but that freaks me out a bit.

Actually I didn't know how scared I was about this whole thing until I went to pray about it today in the car and as soon as I did I burst out in tears. What in the world? Crying? About running?!

Apparently I'm nervous and scared. But excited too. There are several fellow bloggers who have recently had successful running stories- who were completely non runners like me and now are what I would consider "runners" athought they don't want to be labeled that. I want to be that. I want to someday be inspiration for someone else like they are for me.

Marcus' work schedule is insane the next week but once that settles down and he can be home with the kids in the evenings a little I'm actually going to do it. Eeek!


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I saw this at Home Goods and thought it would be really pretty to serve things in since it matches my leaf theme in my kitchen and living room. I thought it would be about $40 and it was $14.99! But I didn't get it today though.

I was there to get a gift for my cousin who is getting married tomorrow. I'm so excited for her! She has red hair like my Luke :o) I love going to weddings but since pretty much all my friends are now married we don't get to go to many these days. It's always reminds people of their own weddings so sit and listen to the vows. I'm sure I'll be looking at Marcus all smitten hehe.

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Ok- that was supposed to be short but oh well.

Have a good weekend! To whoever reads this. Someone does right? Hello? Mom?

If you have stumbled to my blog please say hi- I would enjoy it!