I feel like in a way I've always been an intentional person. I think of things people need or things I can do for others. I dream up how I would go about helping them. What I could buy them. What meal they might enjoy if I cooked for them.
But then I'm snapped out of my thoughts by my screaming toddler and my oldest son who despite the fact that he ate 3 minutes ago is on the verge of tears because he is SOOO hungry. The dog starts jumping on me because he has to go outside to do this business and then I remember that I have to wash cloth diapers and oh right it's bath night for the kids.
Sometimes in the chaos of life with young children there is a quiet whisper in my heart. It's God telling me that I should do ______ for so and so. Unfortunately it's often brushed away with the "I'm too busy. I have two kids and work." excuse.
But the older I get the more and more God keeps sending me the message..."It's not about you."
And it's not. I'm not that important. I'm nothing really. By myself, that is. My only value comes from Who created me and Who loves me and Who saved me. I think deep down we all know that but it's so hard to live that. We come from the womb so needy but somewhere along we way the world or our parents or other people teach us that we're not the center of the universe. It's really not about us.
A few weeks ago at church the pastor was discussing salvation and how to obtain it. That it's a gift. It's not earned by us. The earning was already done for us. We are not saved by good works but we are saved for good works. I felt the tug on my heart. God was saying "I know you are busy, I know you are tired, but every little bit counts."
You see- I tend to be a "go big or go home" type of person in some situations. I do that when it comes to helping others. I dream up this huge plan to help someone in some way or make a really nice meal for them with salad, bread, entree, dessert...and I set up this goal that quickly becomes intimidating and overwhelming.
Maybe I start to think about the times I tried to help someone and they took it as an insult. That by helping them they thought I was saying that they are incapable. Maybe they felt like I was "stepping on their toes."
Maybe incidences start to creep to the forefront of my mind from past experiences where my help went unnoticed (Which I know should never be my reason for helping in the first place- but in my sin it's easy to want that recognition and it's something God has had to work on with me as I grow older. Anonymously helping someone has really helped me grow in this area- it's so much more joyful!)
In the end I often just brush the whole idea to the side and put it in my mental "if I ever get time..." file.
I think what God has been telling me lately is that there are a million opportunities to glorify Him even in small ways. This is so important for me to take to heart in this season of my life when I'm busy whipping snotty noses and kissing boo-boos. Every little bit does count. How many times has someone helped me in a small way yet it felt gigantic to me? A lot.
My goal for myself is to try to turn more intentions into actions. Planning ahead. Don't just think it- do it. And not to get disappointed if I can't quite do it the way I wish I can.
One small thing I've started doing is keeping those disposible aluminum serving containers handy. Then if I think about someone I can make a meal for- I have everything I need. I'm trying to eliminate the easy excuses for things.
I have a long way to go when it comes to serving others. I'm such a selfish person and my own desires often get in the way of what I could be doing for someone else. But God has promised to continue His good work in me until the day of completion and He always fulfills his promises. He's not done with me yet. I just hope I learn to look up from my busy life more and see what can be done in His name.
My prayer is that helping others becomes a norm in our family. That it becomes a part of our day to day life. It may only start out as my children seeing me help or contributing in their small way but eventually I pray it becomes part of their character and defines them.
Learning how (and when and where) to serve others is something that I could never do alone but with God's help I can start taking baby steps in this area of my life and hopefully bring Him more glory by loving those around me. I just keep telling myself "Every little bit counts!"
"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
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