During the night the nurses injected me with two doses of bp med when it got dangerously high except it didn't lower it more than a few points.
Around 6am I woke up to my heart pounding very slowly. It was a strange sensation where it felt like it was working extra hard yet at a slower rate. My bp was 183/100 and a sense of doom came over me. For the first time during all of this I started crying and was truly scared. I kept praying yet it was hard to feel God's presence although I knew He was with me.
I haven't told anyone this yet but I felt the presence of my cousin Sara who recently passed away and heard her say "It'll be alright." I thought of my boys and no longer saw a future with them. I felt so bad that I wasn't sure if I was truly going to survive. Health wise people go through much more dangerous scenarios than this all of the time so I can't explain why I suddenly felt this way but I did. I was truly scared. I started praying that God's will be done but pleading with Him to help me. I told God "please, I don't want to be done with this body yet." I was shaking so bad and so cold.
Although I knew my mom had very little sleep I called her crying and said I was scared. I told her my blood pressure has been up all night and she said she was coming right away. I knew Marcus was busy with the boys but I sent him a message to come ASAP.
I got on facebook and told everyone that I was done updating about my condition and people could contact my mom or Marcus. At this point I was so weak that it was very difficult to even hold my phone.
My head was pounding so violently. It was the worst headache I've ever had and it radiated down my back. I was exhausted and restless at the same time and just laid there and cried. After awhile I managed to pick up my phone to search for my favorite hymn (come thou fount) and listening to it calmed me a bit.
Nausea came over me and I ended up getting sick right after they gave me medicine for my headache.
My mom and Marcus showed up when I was feeling a little better and they stayed with me throughout the day. Nothing was helping the headache except when one of them would massage my head and neck. They kept the room quiet and dark yet my body was so tense I still couldn't relax.
I finally got to see a doctor and he said he was going to run some tests and consult with a cardiologist. My body was still not responding to medication so he said he would be looking into another one to try and I asked for it to be breastfeeding friendly if possible. My frozen stash of breast milk at home was starting to run out and I was wanting to avoid formula if possible.
Marcus stayed by my side and would support me if I needed to go to the restroom. I was concerned about dehydration because of a water pill they had me on + nursing + not keeping anything down + kidneys seeming to work overtime now that the stone was out.
That day they did an EKG, ECHO of my heart and an MRI to check on my kidneys.
I also was visited by a cardiologist who listened to my heart and asked me a bunch of questions.
Marcus had to get the boys from daycare but came back at the end of the day. I was feeling worse and was barely coherent when he stopped by that evening. The pain in my head was excruciating and all I remember was Marcus saying my eyes were very blood shot and "why does the chart on the door say your pain level is a zero?" I recall yelling "It's not a zero! It's not a zero!" before drifting off into a restless sleep again.
That night I had a male nurse who told Marcus I was his most important patient at the time because everyone else on the floor was stable except me. The doctor put in an order to try yet another bp medicine (the fourth one they tried) and Hallellujah it worked!!!!
Friday morning I woke up to a bp that said...
My heart rate also went from low to the "high end of normal."
The nurse, Jason, had spent the night closely watching my vitals, researching if my new bp medication was breastfeeding friendly, and hounding the doctor to approve zofran for my nausea and ibuprofen for my headache per my request. What a good nurse! He was standing in my room when I woke up to that better bp reading and I said "good morning, my bp finally went down!"
My head started to clear that morning and my weird feeling was going away. Other than feeling extremely weak and discomfort from the stent I felt tremendously better.
Marcus came back that morning and we cuddled in the hospital bed trying to rest. After the stressful day before it was so calm and peaceful just to lay next to him. The doctors stopped by to tell me that all of the tests were negative.
In the end, the cardiologist's theory is that my body is very sensitive to epinephrine. With the recent pregnancy and the stress of the stone on my body my adrenal glands must have been (or currrenly still are?) pumping out epi into my system. We're not 100% sure this is what has been going on but it did feel like my body was locked into a "fight or flight" reaction.
With almost normal bp readings I was sent home with directions to take it easy, stay on the bp medication, follow up with the urologist, and see the cardiologist in a month.
I was so happy to be home and be with my babies again!!!
I was weak for a few days and was so grateful to have some friends bring dinner over. At one point there were at least a hundred people praying for me because the word spread via church prayer chains and word of mouth or word of "facebook." I am beyond amazed by all of the support, love, and prayers I received. God did hear you and is helping me to feel more like myself everyday!
The stent is gone now (yay!) and I have returned to work. I take my blood pressure medicine everyday and hope to wean off of it soon. My body still doesn't seem balanced out because at times my bp is really low and other times it's higher than I would like.
My heart rate is low again but that could possibly be from the medicine. It's still a weird sensation to be rushing or walking quickly and not feel it speed up. I had dizziness for a few days with the medicine but my body is slowly adjusting to it. I'm glad that they found a medicine that not only is safe for Kevin through my milk but that also has few side effects.
Thank you to everyone again for the prayers and for thinking of me. Thanks to our close friends Dana and David to took time out of their evening to drive Marcus' car home from the hospital for us. Thank you to my mom who ran herself ragged not only taking care of my boys and the dog but also being there for me when I needed her. I don't know what I would do without her this past week. My washer also broke during all of this (maybe that's a good thing because it forced me not to get caught up with laundry) and my parents took all of our laundry, washed it, bought us hangers and laundry baskets and returned it to me!!
And not that you ever read my blog but thank you too to my wonderful husband Marcus. Who ran so fast across the airport to get home to me that the luggage broke! You came home for me and took care of me when you got here (He missed a private Imagine Dragons concert too when he left his conference early) The first several days after the hospital he did everything with the older boys so I could camp out in the bedroom feeding and napping with Kevin and regaining my strength. I love you babe. (I would appreciate prayers for him too because he's currently sick with pneumonia. Now it's my turn to care for him!)
I was singing this song in the car today to refocus when stress was getting to me. Great is Thy Faithfulness. I have never paid attention to the third verse but it was something I needed to hear.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.
"Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow."
Couldn't have said it better myself ;)
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