Thursday, May 10, 2012

An unconventional date night...

(this post was first started several weeks ago but I just now finished it- just so ya know)

Since we've been super busy I was looking forward to some alone time with my husband last weekend. His job has been very draining and mentally exhausting lately- add in my stress of trying to be a working momma and it's easy to take things out on each other. Marriage is wonderful but takes work- and lately all that work had been shoved to the back burner where it eventually slipped behind the stove and sat to collect dust and splashed spaghetti sauce.

So when my mom said she will watch the boys for a few hours on Saturday last week- I was stoked. A date? Without kids? With my husband? Yes please.

We used to be incredibly spoiled when it comes to date nights. S P O I L E D. My mom used to watch Nathan every Wednesday night and we'd get him back Thursday after work.

It was amazing. One date night a week for a few years? Who in the world does that???!!!! (it came about because I used to work very late on Wednesdays and early on Thursdays so I wouldn't really see Nathan anyways during that time)

On Friday night I went to bed giddy about our plans for the weekend. I was even going to dress up a bit although we always eat dinner at casual places. We were also going to see The Avengers and I was super excited.

But my body had other plans.

I tossed and turned during the first few hours and kept dreaming of food and then feeling nauseated. After drifting in and out of sleep for several hours I ended up getting sick around 3am and it all went downhill from there.

I started to realize that instead of a date with my husband- I was going to be having a date hovering over the porcelain throne losing a few pounds.

I thought- well at least I am getting sick on the weekend. There are upsides to that. One being that I am out of sick time at work and hopefully I would be well by Monday and not have to miss. The other being that Marcus could care for the kids while I was trying to survive this stomach bug.

Of course---that is unless he got sick too.

Which- he did. Shortly after he got up for the day he started the dreaded "bed to bathroom and back again" routine and I quickly realized he was sicker that I was.

In the past our sickness would stagger so there was always one of us able to care for the kids. This was new territory for us- both parents being sick at the same time? It felt cruel and for the survival of the human race I doubt it happens frequently.

How in the world were we going to make it through the day? Our energy was non existent and just the act of standing up took every ounce of strength we had to accomplish it. By the time we did manage to stand we had to immediately lay back down or dizziness would get the best of us.
And the aches? Oh the aches. I felt like my bones were being beaten by a troll with a hammer.

If I had the energy to panic- I would have. But just when I thought about the situation and felt a nervous anxiety come on- I would fall asleep until Luke woke me up crying in his bedroom.

I honestly don't know how we survived that morning. I know God had to be giving us the small amount of strength to keep the kids and ourselves alive.

Nathan, being 4, can pretty much entertain himself. We did have to drag ourselves to the kitchen occasionally to give him food but other than that he didn't need us much (I tell ya- the 3.5 yr span between our kids is genius- it works on so many levels)

Luke on the other hand? Being 9 months he definitely needs more from us. Midday I was literally crawling around to do what needed to be done.

However- I was not the only one crawling. Luke also chose THIS day to become mobile. Of all days! So he ended up spending a lot of time in his crib. He didn't like it much but I knew he was fine- he was fed and changed and I knew he was safe in there.

Sometime during early afternoon I crawled my way over to my phone to send a pretty pathetic phone call to my mom. I said the kids were ok but Luke had spent the entire day in the crib and asked if there was any way she could take them for awhile.

Originally she was going to watch them at my aunt's Kentucky Derby party while we went on our date so she suggested I drive them over to the party. I think I laughed at the idea. I told her I couldn't even manage to walk to the door let alone drive safely. So she said she would come and get them for the afternoon.

After she left I laid on the couch passing in and out of consciousness for a few hours. The only way I had an inkling of the time was which window the sunlight was streaming in. At one point I pulled myself up to go make sure Marcus was still alive in the bedroom. I saw his foot twitch- took that as confirmation that he was indeed alive and then crawled back to the couch.

My mom brought the kids back later that day and put them to bed. I was so thankful and I was praying I felt better by morning so I could care for them.

Around 9pm Marcus emerged from his hibernation in the bedroom and joined me on the couch. We ended up laying there for a long time watching tv, daring to ingest saltine crackers and occasionally communicating through moans and groans that the other person knew meant "ugh- I feel awful!"

As I was sitting there wishing the day had gone differently and sad we had missed our date- I reached over towards Marcus and grabbed his hand. We laid there holding hands in the haze of painful aches and fuzzy brains and I thought "hmph- in a weird way- this is sorta nice." I realized we did end up getting our date although it was way different than we planned. It was strangely intimate that I knew how awful he felt because I was feeling the exact same way. And as we laid there watching something funny on tv, laughing in our minds because there was no energy to put towards a physical laugh, I was able to ponder how blessed I am. To have a mother who still recuses me when she can. To have those sweet boys who love me even when my parenting is somewhat questionable on a day when I'm sick, and to have Marcus. My best friend who I can still have a good time with even when we feel like poop.

(The next day we were weak but felt much better. Many people we knew ended up getting sick including my sweet momma although we are grateful the boys never caught it. And the next weekend we got a more traditional date night)

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