Lunch With Strangers

During the holidays there was a day where I got off work at noon. For half the day I was receiving holiday pay. Yippee!

My original plans were to go pick up the boys from my aunt's house and take them home early.

But the night before I realized how silly that was. Hello? I had a few hours to myself that I would be able to use as I please. As a working mom- or any mom for that matter- this opportunity doesn't present itself very often.

Plus- the boys' cousins were at my aunt's house as well and I knew if I tried to take Nathan home early it would result in a complete "how dare you take me away from this place where I'm having the most fun ever and make me go hooommmeeee???!!!" meltdown. Cuz yanno- home- isn't it the place where his family is and his toys and good food and love? Yeah- but that never seems appealing when you're having fun somewhere else.

So I let my aunt know I got off work at noon but wouldn't be there to get the boys for several hours afterwards.

Now- what was I to do? Lunch alone and a good book felt like it would be pure bliss.

So after work I went to the store and got the second book in the trilogy I was reading and decided on a yummy lunch at Panera bread- one of my favorite places to eat.

I walked into Panera and whooooa the place was packed!! It appeared every seat was taken. Every.last.one. It guess being close to the holidays many other people were enjoying time off from work.

I ordered my food anyways and began roaming for a table- eyeing people to see if they were done eating and might possibly be getting up soon.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

THERE!

A vacant table.

I ran and threw myself on top of the table attacking it like a lion to a zebra in Africa.

Ok not really but I did quickly make my way to it and gracefully sat down- feeling a little guilty that my measly little self was taking up a table for four- but there were no other options.

Right when I took a bite of my sandwich and picked up my delightful book anticipating to be mentally transported to Italy- a woman came up to me.

"Would you mind if my friend and I join you?" she asked.

She was an older woman with a very warm smile- and although a part of me was disappointed for a second that I wasn't going to get my lunch alone with book experience- I said "I don't mind" and they took their seats.

Nancy and Ruth.

The next 40 minutes we talked about nothing and everything. Nancy was in her 80's a Ruth was in her 50's.

We talked about family and jobs and inheritance (Nancy was buying her granddaughter a house for part of her inheritance- whhaaa?) and which bank has the best customer service (Nancy felt passionately about this). Books. Food. Christmas. Churches. Jewerly. Broadway. We talked a lot and by the end of lunch any passerby would have thought we were grandmother, daughter, and granddaugter.

Our conversation was sweet and easy. And it didn't take long for me to know that this was much more refreshing than lunch alone with a book.

I knew as soon as they sat down this happened for a reason. If the only reason was to lift eachother's moods- it was still a reason.

In fact shortly after they sat down a table nearby opened up. I saw them eye it and than Nancy said "let's stay here and leave that for someone else who needs it" and I was glad they stayed :)

It got me thinking though...this whole lunch with strangers...

Of how we react to those around us.

How little eye contact we share.

How many times someone opened the door for me and even though I murmured a "thank you" I didn't even look at their face as I said it.

An elevator ride alone with a stranger where both people stay quiet instead of sharing a short simple conversation.

When did we become a society that only invests in ongoing relationships?

When did any interaction with someone we don't know become not worth our time?

When did we assume we don't have anything to learn from eachother?

When did we become so alone in a world full of people?

What if we did make more of an effort to make eye contact, have short conversations with someone you don't know, or even take the risky move of having lunch with strangers?

We always focus on the negative encounters with strangers. That person who might give you a nasty look when your toddler is having a melt down for example.

But what if we all became better strangers? Helping strangers in little ways. Opening doors more. Telling people you hope they have a wonderful day and MEAN IT. Smiling more at people. Complimenting strangers.

Yes there are some wackos out there and definitely strangers we need to stay clear of.

But there is also a lot of good we can receive from strangers and simple things we can do and say to lift someone's mood.

I hope I never forget my lunch with Nancy and Ruth.

God knew I needed that more than being alone with my book.

And I hope I become a better stranger because of it.

Have a great Friday!

Luke is 4 months

Dearest Luke,

On Christmas Eve you turned 4 months old.

And on Christmas Day I was reminded about how exactly one year ago on Christmas day we found out you were on your way. What an amazing Christmas present.

PERSONALITY

Your personality is really starting to shine and you are ALWAYS smiling. I mean...A L W A Y S.

You might be a morning person because as soon as I come in your room in the morning you are already smiling ear to ear- just happy. And it's so contagious and joyful!


You also have started to get upset when someone is showing you attention but then has to walk away. You don't get too mad but just whine like "where did you go?!"

SIZE

You, my man, are growing growing and growing! I can't believe your size! You are wearing 9 months and some 12 months and you are only 4 months! But you don't look overfed- just big! You do prefer to eat small frequent meals. When you take a bottle you only eat maybe 5 oz at a time if that. But you prefer to eat every 3 hours at least during the day.

You haven't been weighed in awhile but I would guess around 16 lbs.

We're learning more and more about cloth diapers. Every once in a while we run into an issue. Recently it's been ammonia buildup. I'm still glad we chose cloth diapers because there are numerous benefits however all of the trial and error isn't so fun. Sometimes you wear disposible diapers and you just moved up to a size 3.

NEW DEVELOPMENTS

You don't take pacifiers anymore. You prefer to suck on two of your fingers on your left hand and always seem to have them in your mouth.


You can now hold toys and chew on them. You are starting to reach for things you see but still need some help sometimes grabbing onto them.


You continue to "talk" non-stop. You seem to like the sound of your voice and want to coo to someone as soon as you notice they are looking at you. We're definitely a family of talkers and you fit right in!

EATING AND SLEEPING

You still nurse like a pro and during Thanksgiving you quit getting up to eat in the middle of the night. My only theory is that you got so much mommy time while I was off work for Thanksgiving that you got your "mommy fix" and no longer needed to see me in the middle of the night. You have slept at least 9 hours straight ever since! I am so grateful for this since the sleep deprivation was really starting to make me make mistakes at work! The only down side is that now on work days I don't see you from the time I put you to bed til I get home from work. Which is 9pm one night til 5pm the next day. Sometimes it's really hard on me but it makes me cherish the days at home I do get to spend with you.



HEALTH

A problem with you preferring to suck on your left hand is that you always want to lay on the left side of your head. Hence...your noggin' is a little lopsided. Your daddy and I are doing everything we can to try to get you to face to your right more hoping that we don't have to resort to the helmet someday.


Your skin. Oh your skin. It's always something. I guess it comes with the whole red hair and light complexion. The eczema has improved greatly since I started using BabyGanics lotion and body wash.


However, now you tend to get some nasty rashes in all of your creases (armpits, behind knees, neck) I've tried aquaphor which helps a little but yesterday I tried triple paste and it seems to clear it up the most. I'm going to ask your doctor about it when you have your next appt. We keep it clean and dry but last week it still looked like this...

(don't worry- it looks much better today!)

BROTHERLY LOVE

No one makes you light up as much as your brother Nathan. In fact- Nathan doing the jumping jacks makes you crack up the most! It's pretty funny to watch. I love watching you two together.




(Nathan's eyes are closed but I still like this pic- look at that red hair!)

I love to watch you with your daddy too. You seem to have him wrapped around your finger a bit...


We love you little man!

DIY: 3D Paper Snowflake

Hi.

When I was in college I was at the library one time and I saw this girl make this really cool thing out of construction paper. After watching her make it for a few minutes I went over to her and said how neat I thought it was and asked her to show me how to do it. She called it a "star" but I immediately thought that if I made it in white it would look a lot like a snowflake.



Later that day I taught about 10 people how to make them. I think since then I've taught at least 100 people how to make these. I threw a formal dance for the Baptist Student Union at UofL one year and we made a lot of these in red, sprayed glitter on them and hung them as a decoration. We even made a gigantic one for the center of the ballroom. It looked pretty cool and it was such a cheap way to decorate!

Anyways- I love them and wanted to share how to make them with you! They make a cute decoration for Christmas that you can hang around your house!

They are SUPER easy to make! Give it a try!

"Oh Boy!"

Last night we attempted our first gingerbread experience. I had never made a gingerbread house before and thought it would be a fun year to try it as a family. I saw a gingerbread train kit at Meijer's and thought "Perfect!"

Nathan was SO excited- or at least I think he was...what do you think?



Nathan with his creation- so proud!


Um...some of the icing and candy didn't quite make it to the train, hehe.


Nathan actually did most of the decorating himself! 3 years old- this kid amazes me with his creativity and fine motor skills.

Now/Later List and "Man Brain"

Does this sound familiar?

It's about 7:30pm on a weeknight and you feel a sense of urgency. You know there is a list of things that need to be done but you keep remembering other things to add to that list. It just keeps growing!!! And along with it your anxiety starts to grow as well.

You're running around like a lunatic starting a million things but not completing them. You look at your toddler/preschool/spawn of some sort and think "When did I last give him a bath? Yesterday? No the day before. Oh crap it's been 3 days! He needs a bath" (don't judge, I'm a working momma, my kid usually gets a bath every other day in the winter but there are times I lose track!)

Right when you think you might start accomplishing things on your to-do list the baby decides he needs food to survive and since you do want your baby to live- you sit down to feed him.

Great, now it'll be awhile before you can get back to the neverending to-do list that you weren't actually completing to begin with.

That's when you look over at your husband looking at newsanchor gag reel stuff on youtube at the computer. Happy. Content. And oblivious to the whirwind in your brain.

What?

Why doesn't he feel that huge load of things to do on his shoulders like you do?

Why will he be able to soundly sleep even if half these things don't get done?

And why will he absolutely not care if your 3 year old doesn't get his bath?

I'll tell you why....Man Brain.

You see- I am in no way undermining men by saying that. It's just that they are hardwired differently and if you have ever known a man or happen to be married to one- chances are you know what I mean. God made women and men each have different sets of strengths and weaknesses so we compliment each other and together we are a more complete unit.

I once heard on GMA someone discussing how men honestly don't see the things us women see. It was an eye specialist talking about peripheral vision. It goes back to the time when people hunted to survive. Women were gatherers and developed great peripheral vision. Men, as hunters, had more of a tunnel vision so they could concentrate on that one animal they were about to throw the spear or shoot an arrow at.

That's another reason you sometimes have to stand right in front of a man before they have any idea you are trying to talk to them. (once again, not undermining, just explaining our natural differences)

They honestly don't see all that needs to be done. It's not that they are ignoring their to-do list in their brain that has 34582782357 things on it- it's that they don't have one! Or if they do it's more like 1)eat 2)play video games 3)sleep 4)go to work in the morning and repeat.

So I began a discussion with Marcus about Man Brain. I wanted to understand it a bit more.

Well- I say I began a discussion but really it was one of those on-the-verge-of-a-meltdown-get-up-off-the-couch-and-help-me type discussions. It went something like this...

Amanda: "Please help me! I can't do this alone!"

Marcus: (confused and looking at me like I'm crazy) "What is there to do? I don't see anything that needs to be done"

Amanda: (while thinking "seriously? how can you not see it?") "Well- Nathan desperately needs a bath before he starts to grow mold or something in his armpits (ew), the baby needs a bath too, the cloth diapers need washed, my pump stuff needs washed, the toilet in the small bathroom is gross because Nathan can't aim, left over dinner needs to be put away and the kitchen picked up, the towels need folded" and on and on and on.

Marcus: (looked stunned) "Oh, ok" and he gets up to help.

After the kids were in bed we talked about that- I realized it actually stresses me out more to repeat everything to him because I feel more overwhelmed and it's hard to list it without getting upset. Repeating the to-do list outloud also causes you to bring up the not-as-important things that have been camping out in the back of your brain in the "when I finally have time" file like dusting the baseboards, taking down and washing the curtains (yep- that NEVER gets done), and going through the junk drawer- just to list a few. And also repeating the to-do list feels like nagging and we all know nagging doesn't work and our husbands H A T E it. So I knew there had to be another way.

It wasn't that he wasn't willing to help.

He was.

He just had no clue to what needed to be done and to him- nothing really needed to be done because it wasn't on his mental to-do list- so he would just end up sitting somewhere. The computer desk. The chair. Just sitting.

So we came up with an idea. The Now/Later list.

This would eliminate the need for me to verbally list off what needs to be done to him. And solve the problem of him having no idea what was going on in my woman brain concerning the billion things I wanted to accomplish before my head hits the pillow. AND the really cool thing is he can see something on this list, do it, and I never. even. had. to. ask!!! :::squeal:::


(our "real" now/later lists are usually longer and sloppier than this, I gave it a face list for the picture heh)

I just took two dry erase boards I got at Meijer's and put them in a high traffic area (the door b/w the laundry room and kitchen)

On the NOW list are things that HAVE to be accomplished that day. (I included play time because I try to sit down and play with Nathan every day- even if I can only manage 10mins of it)

The LATER list are things you would really like to get to that week.


And so far...it's working!!!

It's been about a month now. The first week we did it Marcus actually did something off the later list and I was SOOO thrilled!

This has made me feel a little more sane and helped Marcus take some of the responsibilities that were weighing me down. We still rarely get to the "later" list because usually even if we focus on the NOW list I still get to bed close to midnight. And some days Marcus forgets to look at it and I have to remind him.

But for the most part...It works for us.

I thought it might help someone else out...hence...this post.

Let me know if you try it!

Scary Mommy Moment

My mother kept the boys for the first time overnight this past Wednesday. I had a lot to do so it was very helpful. I'm so blessed to have great support in friends and family members :o) (she's kept Nathan here and there but this was Luke's first time)

Thursday morning I was about to leave the house for work when my mom called. She said "I don't want to alarm you but..." (of course that is alarming to hear from the person caring for your children!) I said "...but what? tell me?" and she said Luke had blood in his diaper this morning, about a quarter sized spot.

My heart immediately began to race. Why? What in the world would cause a 3 month old to have blood in his diaper? She said it wasn't a bowel movement just a wet diaper and from where the blood was on the diaper it was coming from his boy part. (we use the proper terms in our house for things but since this is the internet we'll use the term "boy part")

I called my boss and told her what was going on. She's a mom of 3 and my CEO has 2 kids so they are both very understanding when it comes to mommy stuff. I took the day off and left the house to go to my mom's to get Luke.

On the way there I prayed a little. I couldn't pray a lot since my mind was kind of all over the place and it was hard to concentrate. I'm not the type to freak out and I wasn't really- just concerned. I knew most likely he was fine. And of course- it's always like a flood of peace to my soul when I remind myself the God is truly in control.

Also on the way there I called the doctor and made an appt for 10:45. When I was at my mom's house I explained to Nathan that Marcus would be there later that day to get him and he gets to spend the day with Grandma. He was pretty excited about that :o)

I changed Luke before we left and there again was blood right where he peed. Nothing appeared to be wrong. No redness. Nothing. Just urine with blood mixed in.

I love our pediatrician. Nathan loves him too and I know Luke will. I never feel rushed during appts and he always truly listens to what I say. After examining Luke he said it would be best to send him for a kidney ultrasound and urine analysis. I changed Luke again before we left and once again there was blood- but much less this time.

They made the appt for 2 hours later at the hospital. The doctor office is right down the road from the hospital so I thought it would be best to stay in the area instead of driving all the way home. We went to Chick-fil-A and I ate and fed Luke. I was mad at myself for drinking left over tea from QDoba that morning because the caffeine had me shaking! (I always forget tea in restaurants is caffeinated since I made decaf tea here)

I asked Marcus to come meet us. I didn't really HAVE to have him there but I kind of just wanted the emotional support. He was pretty busy with work but dropped it all to come be with us.

At the hospital we went first for the kidney ultrasound. It was weird seeing my baby get an ultrasound! I was just getting one 3 months ago to look at him! He stayed very still during the ultrasound and just kept smiling at the technician. He's such a flirt!





I didn't know if she could give me the results but I asked anyways. She said she didn't see any problems but the ultrasound just checks for size, inflammation, backed up urine etc. But I was glad she didn't see any issues.

I changed Luke again right after the ultrasound, his diaper was very full but this time no blood!! I was glad to see that but still concerned about what caused it.

Next was the urine analysis. How do you get a urine sample from an infant? Well- they attach a little baggie to them under their diaper. Hmm- who knew? So now we just had to wait for a sample. I thought it might take awhile since he had just filled his diaper 10 minutes earlier.

So we took Luke out to the waiting area and I just nursed and nursed him hoping it might speed up the process. 10 mins later he had given them twice the sample size they needed! Go Luke!

They took the baggie off and said they would try to get the results in by later that day or in the morning.

Now all we had to do was wait!

There was a women's event at church I was planning on going to and I decided I should still go. Luke was acting ok, there wasn't any more blood in his diaper and there was nothing we could do except wait on the results. So I went home to get ready and Marcus took Luke to go pick up Nathan.

(So in the middle of this crazy day I ended up having 2 hours at home alone. ALONE! What did I do with that time? I made a video showing how to make 3D snowflakes. I'll have to post that soon!)

Friday I called the doctor but they didn't have the results yet. Then last night at 8pm the doctor left me a voicemail (my phone had died so it was charging in the bedroom when he called) saying that all the results were completely normal, just to keep an eye on him for anything unusual and to call if there was blood again. Apparently the urine sample didn't have any blood in it- which makes sense since the diaper before hand didn't have any either.

Just a fluke? Probably. I'm hoping he never has that problem again. And if he doesn't we'll never know what caused it. That's ok with me. I don't need to know. I just want a healthy happy little baby boy- and that's what God has blessed me with :o)

Hanger Sword Fight

Enjoy this video that always cracks me up!



My "clever" comments are somewhat delayed. Because my brain is somewhat delayed. Anyways, I still think it's funny. This was also filmed in the townhouse we used to live in which was super small so the background is all messy and cluttered. Ok no one cares. But there is still a cute baby! And a crazy mommy! What's not to like?

:o)