Breastfeeding: Luke's Story

Part 1 and Part 2 of my breastfeeding journey with my first son, Nathan, was posted on Thursday and Friday.

Luke's Story...

On Christmas day 2010 I took a negative pregnancy test. Or so I thought. A few hours later I glanced at it and saw the faintest second line ever. Seriously. Look? You can't even see the second line but it was there.

Marcus thought I was being hopeful but I knew. God confirmed in my heart that our second child was already being formed inside of me. What an amazing gift on Christmas! Hours later after several tears and holding the test up to different lights I finally convinced Marcus he was going to be a daddy again.

One evening during my second trimester I was flipping through tv channels and ended up watching a tv show featuring a live birth. After the woman pushed her son out they placed him on her chest and she just held him, talking to him and looking him over. They never removed him. They cleaned him up while he was still on her and then she began to nurse him. I started bawling. Marcus asked what was wrong and I said "I want that. I want that so bad." I then realize that I had missed out on this most precious of moments with Nathan since they took him immediately and by the time I got him back he was already bundled up. I longed for the sweet moments immediately after birth to hold my baby close to me.

I was thrilled to find out during a prenatal class at the hospital (a different hospital than I had Nathan in) that they practiced the golden hour. During the first hour after birth the mother and infant get skin to skin contact without interruption (as long as everyone is healthy). I kept thinking about the birth I saw on tv and hoping I would get that chance.

During my last trimester I began researching breastfeeding. I watched educational videos online. I read blogs. I read articles by doctors. I looked at pictures of how to latch properly. I talked on the phone a few times with the LC at my obgyn's office (different office than when I had Nathan) I did everything I knew to prepare for nursing this little one.

8 months pregnant

The pregnancy was uneventul until I developed preeclampsia once again around 37 1/2 weeks. I spent a few days in the hospital when my bp was around 150/105 and then went home on bed rest.

My doctor decided to induced me on Wednesday morning, August 24th 2011, at 38 weeks and 3 days.

My labor progressed more quickly this time because I was already about 4-5 cm dilated. After a while of intense contractions (I think the pitocin was too high) which eventually progressed into back labor I got an epidural (also-the pain was making my bp go higher, so I felt it was safer for both baby and myself that I get one)

After epidural- no pain!

6 hours of labor and 3 pushes later Lucas Wayne Crumbacher entered the world weighing in at 7 lbs 7oz. He looked so much like his brother except he had red hair! (I tease that his hair is red because he was my Christmas present)

I held him and kissed him while the doctor worked on me. He had cried once when he first came out but then his cries were replaced with grunts. I could tell he was working hard to work something up out of his lungs.

His color looked good so I knew he was getting oxygen but he just kept grunting. I began tapping him on his back to help but the nurse eventually took him to work on him. She tried hitting him harder on the back and also tried working a tube down his throat to suction. Neither worked so they let me have a few more minutes with him before they took him to the nursery to help him get the substance up.

Soaking up the moment.

I was a little sad that I didn't get to nurse him within the first hour but my main concern was that he get help so he could breath better.

After I was taken to the maternity ward they brought him to me when he was 3 hours old. He was breathing perfectly fine.

My mom, dad, Nathan, and Marcus' mom all filed in to see baby brother and then left us alone so I could nurse.

As I brought him towards my chest I recalled the trouble I had nursing Nathan and hoped and prayed he would latch and stay latched.

He latched perfectly. He stayed latched and he ate until he was content! I was so thankful. I called my mom and said "guess what?! He's doing perfectly!!!"

The LC from my doctor's office stopped by when I was in the hospital and I pulled out my list of questions I had thought about and began to pick her brain about things. How do I prevent mastitis? How many times should I pump at work? When is it ok to introduce a pacifier? Poor woman never heard back from me after that day! I should probably call to tell her it was because everything went well and not because it didn't work out.

I was concerned about soreness because with using the nipple shield with Nathan I never experienced it. For the first few days I was tender and felt a moment of pain but it quickly went away.

I had more colostrum this time around and my milk came in by day two. I could tell immediately that it was more abundant which is common in second pregnancies and so forth.

We brought our new son home and discovered the tired blessing of having two young ones.

Luke started to pack on the weight and grow like a weed. Before long he was wearing the same clothes at 5 months that Nathan was wearing at 2 years! Now, believe it or not, they can both fit into the same size shorts. Luke is now a little over 11 months and 20 lbs 7oz.

At 2 weeks we tried the pacifier and Luke wasn't very interested. Instead he chose to suck on two fingers on his left hand and it became a bad habit that led to him getting a cranial molding helmet.

Luke had his first bottle at 5 weeks (we use playtex drop-ins) and he has never had an issue of going back and forth between breast and bottle like some infants do.

I began pumping here and there when Luke didn't drain me. Now knowing milk supply increases with the more milk that is removed I was determined to keep sending my body the signal to create more milk. It definitely got the signal! Before long I truly believed I had tricked my body into thinking I had twins. Especially when I discovered my morning pumping was bring in a whopping 16oz!
(I'll explain more about my pumping routine in a later post.)

4 days old- feeling tired but in love with this little one!

With Nathan I was eager to put him on a schedule. With Luke I nursed on demand and still do. During a weekday he nurses in the morning, after daycare and once before bed. During the weekend he nurses probably about 5 times a day.

Another thing I did differently this time around include never giving him a bottle if I could nurse instead. With Nathan I would often pump before leaving the house and then bottle feed in public. With Luke I nurse him when we are together.

There were many times with Nathan that I had recently pumped right before I got home from work only to discover he was hungry when I arrived. I would think "oh no, I just pumped and have no milk left so let me make you a bottle of breast milk." With Luke I would nurse him anyways even if I had just pumped. His nursing would cause another let down and sure enough there would still be some milk for him! I think this is another reason I had an overabundance of milk. Even when I thought I was empty I was sending my body signals to produce more milk.

I can't express how grateful I am that we had no issues when it comes to feeding Luke. Our nursing relationship is still going strong and I have had the added blessing of being able to donate to others in need. I'll post more about that on Monday!

(sorry for the bad picture quality!)

Tomorrow I look forward to sharing my advice and what I have learned during my experiences with both of my boys.

Have a great weekend!

Breastfeeding: Nathan's Story Part 2

If you missed Part 1 of Nathan's Story from yesterday check it out here.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We took Nathan home on a Monday. He was 3 days old and at that time my milk came in. It was very obvious when it came in because I was suddenly much fuller than with the colostrum.

I honestly don't remember much about our first night home. It's a haze of lack of sleep and trying to calm a fussy newborn who wasn't getting his fill.

He was getting hungry, I was getting painfully full of milk, and he was still nursing just for a minute or two and then would unlatch and scream. Once he got mad he wouldn't calm down again for a long time and then the whole process would repeat. He would maybe get enough milk in him that he wasn't starving but not enough to satisfy him.

I didn't know what to do and was an emotional mess. My body felt traumatized from the long labor and birth and I was incredibly weak. I also was still on the blood pressure medicine and couldn't concentrate easily.

The one moment that stands out to me the most was during the second night home. After an unsuccessful nursing session that left Nathan and I both frustrated I quickly handed Nathan to my mom and went and laid in bed with Marcus. Feeling guilty, I knew I just needed to be away from Nathan. I felt my emotions were crashing in on me.

I was failing.

Failing at something that was so important to me. I didn't know what I was doing wrong and why Nathan wasn't staying latched. He was so hungry- why wouldn't he just keep eating until he was full?

Even in this moment of anger and frustration I knew in my heart that I wasn't ready to give up. I still believed that we were going to figure this whole thing out and that something or someone would be able to help. I was being stubborn but I knew I was fighting for something that is worth fighting for.

About ten minutes after I handed Nathan to my mom and ran out of the room she quietly brought Nathan in our bedroom and said "I got him to calm down, will you try again? I think he might eat this time."

I took his little bundled body, brought him close to me, and he latched. I hoped. I prayed. I thought "this is it!" But sure enough, just a second later his little mouth opened and he pulled his head back pushing his balled fist into me and began to wail.

I handed him to my mom and flung myself into Marcus' arms and I just lost it. I cried and cried the hardest I had ever cried. I heard my mom say to Marcus while she was holding the screaming baby "You take care of her and I'll take care of him" and she left the room.

Sometime later that night one of us remembered the nipple shield that I had gotten at the hospital. We got it out and tried to use it. Nathan would stay latched a little bit longer with it but still did his unlatch and scream routine.

(Nathan at 5 days)

The next day Nathan was 5 days old. I knew today was the day something had to change.

The thought of formula was shoved to the back of my mind and I still refused to let my mind go there. But my baby needed to eat and a mom has to do what's best for the baby and herself. I knew if we didn't get help today I would have to do what was best for Nathan even if it meant giving up my desire to breastfeed.

That morning while sitting on the couch in tears I had Marcus call my obgyn to see if they had a lactation consultant there. The LC had a full schedule but after hearing the urgency of our need she agreed to stay late that day so she could see us.

I felt numb on the way to meet with the LC. I had a migraine and was utterly exhausted. We sat in the waiting room for what seemed to be a long time as the last patients of the day left and the employees finished their tasks. Finally a woman called us back. Seeing the look of understanding on her face when she noticed my weariness gave me hope that she would be more helpful than the LC at the hospital.

While trying not to cry I poured my heart out to her and recapped everything that had happened since Nathan was born. When I was finished I sat waiting to hear what I had been doing wrong but those words never came.

Instead, she assured me that I had been doing everything that I could. After watching Nathan latch, unlatch and scream she said what he was doing was common for a baby born that small and a little early. He simply wasn't developed enough to latch properly but that it would get better in time. Early babies can be "lazy" eaters because that instinct isn't fully developed yet and they don't want to "work" to eat.

She showed me different way to position Nathan and how to latch him properly. Then she mentioned a nipple shield and explained how it worked. She warned that it could help for a while but I would have to wean Nathan off of it, the sooner the better. She showed me that if I expressed some milk into the shield when it was on me then it was basically making me into a bottle and Nathan should stay latched until he was full.

Nipple Shield

After weighing Nathan (who was just under 5 lbs) she let me nurse him with the shield. I made sure that the shield had milk in it before I latched him on.

He latched and began to eat.

One minute went by.

I got hopeful.

Another minute went by.

He was doing it. We were doing it!

I look up at Marcus and smiled. We both took a deep breath and exhaled. Fully relaxing for the first time since Nathan was born. I was so grateful. For this tiny baby that God placed in our care, for the love and support of Marcus and my mom, and for this lactation consultant who was patient and kind and more of an angel than she'll ever know.

After a while Nathan went into a deep sleep because he was content for the first time with a full belly. The LC then weighed him again and we saw that he had took in several ounces.

I asked about buying a pump and that I had no idea how to use one and was intimiated by it. She sold us a medela pump and explained how it worked.

As the visit came to an end and we snuggled a sleeping Nathan into his car seat I couldn't stop smiling and thanking her. I felt such relief! We were going to make it!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nathan started putting on weight slowly but surely staying between 5-10 percentile on the growth chart.

As he started to grow I got the feeling of "we got this!" and became a little overconfident that we would make it to my goal of six months. I unknowingly starting making mistakes and sabotaging my nursing relationship with Nathan.

I should have weaned Nathan off of the nipple shield sooner than I did. We used it for the first 2-3 months. Although helpful there are disadvantages to it. In hind sight I believe it kept Nathan from fully draining me and therefore my milk began to decrease. It's all a big game of supply and demand. The more milk you express- the more your body makes. It's a game I began losing.

(Nursing Nathan at 2 months)

At 8 weeks I returned to work full time. I would work 8+ hours straight with no breaks (yes, I know this is wrong, I was told I could take breaks but yet my schedule was full of patients and there was no opportunity to do so)

I somehow managed to get one pumping session in at work. I would drag a chair into the bathroom and pump there as quickly as I could, not draining myself enough.

At 4 months I didn't have enough frozen milk to leave for Nathan while I worked. I believe the main causes were stress of an unhealthy working environment, not pumping often at work, not drinking enough fluids, and choosing too often to pump/bottle feed rather than nurse him when we were together. Although it broke my heart a little, we started supplementing with formula so he was getting about half and half.

I had no idea there were things I could do to increase my milk (drink more, pump more, herbal supplements, etc). I thought once the milk decreased-that was it. And honestly I guess I didn't even think to research it unfortunately.

Nathan received both breast milk and formula until he was 6 months old. The day that he turned 6 months I nursed him for the last time with what little milk I had left.

(Nathan at 3 weeks)

Looking back on the whole experience I am baffled at how little I knew going into it. It was like running a marathon with no training- who would do such a thing?! I had researched the science of the benefits of breast milk. I knew the health benefits for a mother who nurses. Yet- I knew so little about actually doing it!

I'm compiling the things I have learned along the way with Nathan and with Luke (who's breastfeeding story is completely different) Tomorrow I will share Luke's story and on Sunday I will share the things I wish I knew from the beginning.

After my experience with Nathan I prayed that if we were ever blessed with another baby that God would give me plenty of milk. And boy- He surely answered that prayer!

Breastfeeding: Nathan's Story Part 1

Two days before our two year anniversary I was surprised by two pink lines on a pregnancy test at 5am. Having a history of a sporadic cycle I had been told that it might be hard for us to get pregnant. So although we weren't trying to conceive- we weren't not trying. And there it was- that second line that meant life was here.

The pregnancy was uneventful until I headed into my last trimester. My ankles began to swell and I would feel my heart race. I developed preeclampsia at 32 weeks and was put on bed rest. I was also placed on a blood pressure medication that made me feel drugged, sleepy, and foggy.

At 37 weeks the doctor didn't like my non-stress tests and the baby failed the biophysical profile (an ultrasound looking for all signs of a healthy baby) so the doctor sent me straight to the hospital. I didn't even have my hospital bag packed yet!

On Leap Day 2008, 26 hours after they induced labor, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing at 5 lbs 12 oz. We named him Nathan Lee Crumbacher.

When I went into the hospital they asked me a series of questions- one being if I planned on breastfeeding. I said yes.

I didn't know much about the act of breastfeeding. I did know quite a bit about the science of it. I had wrote a paper in high school (entitled: I am woman, hear me moo) about all the benefits of breastfeeding and also did a speech in college about the subject (in a class full of men! Haha) But as far as how it works- I was sort of clueless.

Being so caught up on the "process" of birth I in no way anticipated the emotions of giving birth. It wasn't until I pushed him out and saw his little body and head full of hair that I truly realized I was meeting my son for the first time. I saw his precious little chin that looked just like his daddy's and thought "He's here! My son!". My heart was suddenly full of such joy and love for this itty bitty baby that God had given us. (The name Nathan means "God has given")

The feelings of joy began to dim once I realized how truly exhausted I was. I hadn't slept for 2 days and haven't eaten either.

While my doctor was tending to me they weighed Nathan and checked him out. They then swaddled him, handed him to me and left the room.

Several family members filed in to see the new baby and to learn his name. We had kept the name a secret during the pregnancy. I just laid there trying to soak up the moment but feeling every ounce of energy was completely gone.

After a while a nurse came back in. Until this point I had forgotten about trying to feed him so I asked if I should try now. She said "no, we're about to move you to the maternity ward"- awhile later- same thing. I asked- they said no. This happened several times. Although I felt it was strange that they kept telling me no I trusted that they would tell me what was best and so we just waited and waited.

Finally someone moved me to my new room. They immediately took Nathan to give him a bath and have the pediatrician examine him.

During this time I decided to take a shower because I felt so gross from the hours of labor and didn't want to nurse him feeling icky. Half way through I realized how big of a mistake that was! Don't shower hours after giving birth- especially without your spouse there. Marcus had went home to take a quick shower and change.

When they finally brought Nathan back to me around midnight he was over 6 hours old. I couldn't believe how little he was! The nurse called him a little peanut. The nurse asked if I had fed him yet and I said "no- they kept telling me not to." She said "oh...it's best to try to nurse within the first hour"- it was the first I had heard of that.

She brought Nathan to me and I thought "ok- here goes nothing" and although he was drowsy he seemed to latch right on. Or so I thought. I didn't really know what a good latch looked like or felt like but it seemed he was getting the hang of it.

I had no idea that there are ways of position a baby to encourage a "healthy" latch. Feeding him on the right side felt ok but the left side felt uncomfortable since I'm left handed. In fact the whole experience felt awkward. Could he breathe? Was he getting anything? If I was doing this right why did I feel clumsy?

He took forever to eat because he kept falling asleep. He would take about an hour and a half to eat and then they would bring him right back about an hour later and I thought "I just fed him!"

After two sort of successful nursing sessions Nathan seemed to want to keep sucking on something so I told Marcus to tell the nurses in the nursery that maybe he wants a pacifier. They gave him a pacifier and it all went downhill from there.

Once Nathan had the pacifier he didn't want me anymore. He preferred the hard plastic. He would latch for a few seconds and then pull away and scream his little heart out. Marcus and I were confused because it seemed like he was doing well only hours before. We didn't understand the pacifier was to blame.

We kept trying and he kept screaming and finally we called for a lactation consultant and were told she wasn't on duty for a few more hours. The clock slowly ticked away while we kept trying to get him to latch. We prayed that help was on the way!

Later that morning when a LC finally came she observed Nathan trying to eat, saw how he would unlatch and scream and then she started getting frustrated with him. I thought to myself  "How are you going to help me when you are getting more frustrated than I am?" She said she didn't know why he was behaving that way, mentioned a nipple shield, gave me one not explaining anything about it and left the room. I think it was shoved in the diaper bag and forgotten.

All this time Nathan would nurse some but not enough to fill his belly, falling asleep quickly. He was still sleepy from being jaundiced and remnants of the blood pressure medicine I was on.

One of the nurses asked me if my milk came in yet. I said "I have no idea- something is coming out"- and wondered how I was supposed to know when it switched from colostrum to milk. She also used the term "let down" that I had never heard and I wasn't sure what she meant.

As my blood pressure medication started to lower and reality set in I began to dread going home from the hospital. After living in a mental fog for a few months I felt completely unprepared to care for this newborn. But the day came when my blood pressure was at a less dangerous level and we were sent home. Nathan was 3 days old.

The next few days ended up being the most stressful days of my life. Intermixed with the moments of joy marveling over the tiny human that we had created were moments of frustration, insecurity and unknowns.

I'll share the remainder of Nathan's Story in Part 2 tomorrow.

Breastfeeding: My Introduction

Today is the beginning of World Breastfeeding Week.

I had been contemplating sharing my experiences with breastfeeding on this blog for some time. Recently I had a few pregnant friends ask for advice because it is something they are interested in so I figured this coming week would be the perfect opportunity.

For something that has been a huge part of humanity from the beginning it breaks my heart at how little we know about breastfeeding as a society. I truly hope that changes and America's view of it improves.

We need more encouragement, support, understanding and much more education. The less we focus on pointing fingers at formula in a negative way and focus more on educating soon to be new moms- the statistics of babies breastfed until or beyond the mother's original goal will naturally rise. A majority of moms plan to breastfeed but then lack of support often leads them to not meeting their goals.

There was so much I didn't know when I gave birth to Nathan 4 years ago. Before I had him I heard a few moms say "It's one of the hardest things I ever did but also the most rewarding." I would think to myself "One of the hardest things? How hard can it be...?" but now I completely understand that statement and have uttered (heh) it a few times myself.

My first son was a small premie who did not latch well and ended up on formula several months later. My second son was a full term baby who latched right on and never looked back! I also have went through pumping in different working environments and donating milk to the milk bank and others in need. I look forward to sharing all I know about these topics which may not be a lot but if I can help one person it will be worth typing it out!

My hope is that by sharing my story someone might want to "give it a go" because it is honestly one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.

And I know that's an over used statement but I truly mean it!

So check back this week!

Thursday- Nathan's Story Part 1
Friday- Nathan's Story Part 2
Saturday- Luke's Story
Sunday- What I wish I knew...
Monday- Pumping/Donating
Tuesday- Final thoughts

Nathan's first dental visit and my unique inner ear...or is it?

Most dental hygienist bring their own kids to where they work and clean their teeth. Because I work for a low income clinic (where we are unable to see people with insurance) I was legally not able to do this.

It made me a little sad I couldn't be the first one to polish Nathan's pearly whites but I figured it's probably for the best for him to get used to another hygienist and get the full experience of going in for a dental checkup.

This past Friday Luke, Nathan and I all headed to the pediatric dentist for the first time. Nathan was thrilled to see they had a huge play area.

After mastering the art of balancing a 11 month old on one leg and paperwork on the other- filling out said paperwork while trying to keep the baby grabbing the pen and permanently damaging any of his (or my) body parts---the hygienist finally came into the waiting area and called out "Nathan"

He looked at me with his excited but slightly anxious eyes and I said "that's you buddy!"

So we walked back into the operatory and chatted with the hygienist, Nicole, and Nathan got up in the chair and opened wide.

He did great. I was proud of him!

His teeth look perfect (besides an overbite) and no problems were found.

This is what he did when I said "show me your clean teeth!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Also on Friday Luke had a helmet appointment. I fully expected the specialist to say that we had another few months but after examining Luke and taking his age into account he said to schedule a 3 week follow up and then we'll schedule a final scan and then he'll be done!!

So maybe the helmet will be a thing of the past before his first birthday!

I'm so ready to have a baby who's head doesn't stink like dirty feet :)

And once his helmet is off his hair can start growing on the sides because he has a nice curly red mohawk going on.

I had the idea to have everyone who comes to his first bday party sign the helmet with a permanent marker and then it will be something I can keep.

So I can pull it out and show his prom date and use my squeaky mom voice to say "oooohhhh look how widdle his widdle head used to be!!!!!"

Heh.

And I'm totally not kidding.

My poor children.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After the morning doctor appts we met my friend Dana at Chick fil A for some lunch and so she could watch Nathan for me while I took Luke to his next appt. If that wasn't enough- the other reason she came was to GIVE us a ton of little people toys and a fisher price picnic table. Yanno- cuz she's awesome n stuff.

After we ate I left Dana in the play area full of screaming kids. On the way out I gave her the "thanks so much for doing this and omg it's so loud in here-goodluck!" look and Luke and I left for the final doctor appt of the day. The ENT.

The medical assistant asked me how many ear infections Luke had had and honestly I had lost count. I'm thinking 5? The hearing test was first and surprisingly he scored within his age group!

The ENT came in the examine room and we talked a short bit. I already knew we were ready for tubes and since we had been through the process with Nathan there wasn't too much he needed to discuss.

And then when the visit was almost over- I give in to an internal "should I or shouldn't I?" mental conflict and say while turning red "Doctor, can I ask you a weird question?"

Of course he says "yes" because I think curiousity would keep anyone from saying "no" to that.

And before I know it I'm practically word "vomitting" this following paragraph. Oh dear. I.am.a.dork.

"Well...I had been debating if I should ask you this or not and I'm just gonna ask and I know you are going to think I'm crazy or something. I can...uhhh... voluntarily make this thunder noise in my ears. I've been able to do it since I was a kid and I used to do it during a nightmare and it would wake me up (why in the world did I have to include that much detail) It sounds like rolling thunder. It's completely voluntary. It only does it when I make it happen."

...pause...blink...blink...

And he says "Hmph"

I say "um... Do you want to look in my ear and see what happens when I make the sound?" and now that I have his curiousity he says he does.

He looks and I do it. He steps back and says "Yeah you can make your ear drum vibrate. I wonder if you have somehow found a way to voluntarily control the stapedius muscle (which he then explains) Maybe you did it once as a child and then over time figured out how to do it more and more."

I ask if it's common and he says somewhat impressed "No, actually I've never seen that before" Not knowing what to say I look at Luke and say "see, told ya your mommy is weird."

I felt validated for all the times my childhood friends said I had to be making it up when I told them I could make a thunder noise in my head (which sounds crazy enough that it's surprising I did have friends!)

After we talked a bit more about scheduling Luke's tube surgery and his thoughts on water exposure afterwards he leaves the room and the medical assistant looks at me obviously amused. She says "that's neat- you have a party trick!" and I said "yeah a party trick only I can hear" heh.

When I told Marcus about the whole thing he says "I can do that too."

Well...

Hmph.

Then we teasingly wonder if maybe we're the only two people in the world who can voluntarily make their ear drum vibrate. We joke that maybe that's how we found each other in the first place. Our inner ears vibrate at the same frequency. We honed in on eachother!

But then I mention this at work and one of the dentist I work with says she can do it too!

So maybe this is common?

So tell me---can you make a rolling thunder noise in your ears? Have you ever heard of this before? If you can- did you ever use it for anything? Like me- I used it to tune people out when I was a kid (bad, I know) and used it to wake up from nightmares if I realized it was a dream.

C'mon- join my weirdness!

Anyone...?

Anybody at all....?

7 things I wish I never learned...

As I was walking back to work after lunch I was staring at the beautiful puffy white clouds. They were the type of clouds that were so perfect they didn't even look real.

It made me think about my childhood and how I used to think they were solid. As in- if you somehow got up there you could lay on them and bounce from one cloud to another.

And then I thought how much of a bummer it was when I learned that they are made of water vapor and if I did get up there I would just fall to the earth.

When I got back to work and began scraping tartar off of my patient's teeth (which is when I do my best "thinking" if I'm not talking to my patient) I started to recall other things that I learned growing up that somewhat dampened the childlike magic in how I perceived the world as a girl.

So here's the list that I came up with.

Here are 7 things I wished I never learned

(but for the sake of being a normal functioning adult in our society it's good that I did learn them)


1. Character Costumes

It was much more fun thinking the shockingly huge Mickey Mouse was indeed the infamous rodent himself instead of a sweaty guy in a costume that probably smells like a middle school locker room on the inside.


2. Honeymoon

A newly married couple literally flew to the moon following the ceremony. You didn't know that? Well- that's what I thought anyways. I remember pondering how the "honey" part was involved. Did they eat it? Did they swim in it? Did the make a honey slip n slide? I wasn't sure about that part but I truly believed in the outterspace postnuptial trip.


3. Santa Claus

Christmas was just much more exciting as a kid when I thought he was real. I believed for a long time because my dad once went as far as throwing pebbles on the roof in the middle of the night one Christmas Eve. Of course- Christmas is a time we celebrate the Savior's birth. However the world did seem a little dimmer after I figured out the truth about the jolly big guy.


4. The world is REALLY big. I mean- reeeallly big.

You mean you can't see Disney World from high up here on a fair ride in North Carolina?

My 3 year old self was SO convinced the factory I could see from a distance when I was on a swing ride at a fair was truly Disney World that my parents literally had to go drive by the factory to show me otherwise.

I guess I wouldn't stop talking about it and my stubborn self KNEW I was right.

I thought that from the whopping height of 30 feet I could see everything in the whole world.

When I saw that it was smoke columns and not Cinderella's castle I was crushed.


5. Summer

I thought summer lasted a whole year.

Like- we went to school for a year. And then had a year off.

My whole concept of time was completely altered when I understood that summer was just a few months.


6. Velcro

Or Bear-crow?

When I was in middle school a friend said "wait a minute Amanda- did you just say bear crow? It's Velcro!"

Up until then I thought it was pronounced bear-crow. Which made much more sense to me. The soft part stood for the bear and the scratchy part stood for the crow.

Pssh. Velcro. Who comes up with this stuff?

Bear crow makes much more sense.


(and the truth that devastated me the most and truly rocked my childhood world of make-believe)
7. Mr. Rogers

What?

Those are PUPPETS????

NNNOOOOO!!!!

---------------------------------

What truth crushed one of your childhood perceptions that you sorta wish you never learned?

pieces of my brain

Here's some randomness I need to get out of my head....some boring ramblings but I figured I better post something on this thing.

+++++++++++

Soooooo um yeah. I have like ten awesome (haha) blog posts half written. Anyone else like that? I really need to finish some of them.

I'm excited about a series on bfing I'll be blogging about. I think it will break down into maybe five separate posts.

I know. I know. That's a lot. But after nursing two babies and having dramatically different experiences- there is a lot to share! And I have a few preg friends who have asked which is why I wanted to do the posts. Plus I'm also a working momma so there is a lot about pumping at work that I've learned. There is SO MUCH that I wish I knew before my first nursing experience and if I can help someone else be more prepared than I definitely want to!

I'm wordy- obviously. And I know people don't have an hour to just sit and read a blog post (because even with my lack of comments- people do read this. promise. Er at least I think- anyone?). So I'm trying to figure out how to break down the bfing posts so it's not so long and yet keep the "meat" of the post intact. Or "milk" if you will. Ha. Haha.

+++++++++++++++++++++

You mothers about to have two kids? Things are so different with the second one. You will love them a ton- but they will never get the life that your first had when they were an only child.

For instance. Reading before bedtime. I always used to read to Nathan before bed- sometimes even after he fell asleep on me.

Luke? I've read to him three times. EVER! And he's going on one! And one of those times included last night.

With Nathan we had this whole bedtime routine (bath, book, song, prayer, bed) With Luke? Bath, nurse, bed. I walk in his room, lay him in the crib and walk out. That's it. That's all I have time for in the chaos of preparing for the next day and getting food and bottles ready for daycare.

And usually one of the reasons I never read to him is because I'm usually like "oh no- it's 9:00- you need to be in bed!!!" and off to bed he goes while I feel bad that my baby isn't getting more sleep.

But last night I did sit and read to him. And it was one of the sweetest moments I've shared with him. He giggled. He looked at every page of that book and giggled. The sweetest sleepy giggle I have ever heard. It brought tears to my eyes and I told myself I HAVE to read to him more.

Plus I've heard stuff like that is good for their brains or something.

;)

++++++++++++++++++

There are days I enjoy doing cloth diapering and days I sometimes wish we weren't. But for the most part I enjoy it and love all the money we are saving. Plus I had no idea that there are so many chemicals in disposable diapers. But then again there are chemicals in everything these days!

I thank my friend Amy for talking me into cloth diapering. And she did have to talk me into it because at first it wasn't even something I would consider- but now I'm glad we chose to. And if God chooses to bless us with another child someday they'll have free diapering too!

This all leads to a very important package that was delivered in the mail the other day.

A diaper sprayer.

"What the what?" you say?

It's basically like the sprayer you have attached to your kitchen sink. Except this is attached to the back of your toilet and clean water can be sprayed out.

It's for "cleaning off" the cloth diapers before you throw them in the container to later be washed. I don't know how I survived 10 months of cloth diapering without this thing. I kept holding out because they are expensive but now that I have one it was definitely worth it.

And an added bonus is the sprayer reaches the shower. So the day Marcus hooked it up I also cleaned my shower which took half the time with the sprayer's help. I think that was the first time I enjoyed cleaning the shower.

+++++++++++++++++++

Speaking of cleaning. I'm attempting a new cleaning method. A way of keeping track of what needs cleaned when- especially the things that need to be done once a month or every few months. It's a system of notecards and dividers. My goal is to spread out the chores in a way that nothing gets too terribly behind (it's been 3 yrs since I've cleaned the curtains in the kitchen- 3 years! I fear what I will find when I take them down!) Also- things are easier to clean the more you do it.

So far- so good. Although I'm known for getting super excited about organizing something or a new system to implement and sometimes they don't stick. So we'll see!

++++++++++

Speaking of super excited. The other night I sat down to watch tv and pair all of the unpaired socks for every member in this family. I seriously was so excited. Not kidding. I ended up with maybe 30 pairs of socks for everyone and a bag of about 15 socks that never ever get paired but yet I can't bring myself to get rid of them because what if...?

How weird does this make me? A lot?

++++++++++++++++++++

For 3 years we have lived in our house. I think I'm slowly getting the anterior the way I want it. There are still things like light fixtures that I would like to trade out. And a new couch since our dog's claws have destroyed some of the sewed in cushions leaving me to have a blanket constantly on one side of the couch. But for the most part I hope I've made it quite homey.

But the outside of the house? We have a long way to go.

As of right now there is no landscaping. We ripped up the horrible landscaping that came with the house and killed the weeds that had over taken it. However my cousin is helping us with it and he has been understandably busy so for months we've had what I like to call a "dead rustic" theme in the front yard.

In the back yard we have an itty bitty concrete patio that we never use and have never got patio furniture for it. But the other night I took the dog out and thought how nice it would feel to sit out there in the cooler evening.

The next day at Meijer I saw a cute little patio table for $25! It's 40inches across with a steal frame and tempered glass. Marcus agreed it was a good deal so the following day we went back and got it. We didn't get chairs yet because we're looking for a good deal but I can't wait to set up a little sitting area and use our outdoor space more. Hopefully in a year or so we can get a fence so I don't have to worry about the boys running too far off or into the ditch at the back of our property.

++++++++++++++++++

I hope everyone has a great fourth of July. Please be safe if you choose to do personal fireworks if you are not in an area banned from it. We lost our house to a fire when I was a little girl and I don't wish it on anyone. My heart goes out to those affected in Colorado. God is bigger than any force of nature but I know at the time losing all you own can be so devastating that it's hard to see past it. So please be safe and either choose not to do fireworks or go see them somewhere publicly where they have firemen present.

Happy 4th!