I thought.
He thought.
We both thought wrong.
As a result our child could have been severely or fatality hurt.
You know that moment when your heart stops beating when you realize not all of your kids are safe? A billion things flash through your mind at once.
Today was a normal day at church. Went to the 1st service. Served in the nursery during the 2nd service. Afterwards we were ready to grab some lunch and head home for the day.
Before leaving I noticed Luke was stinky and took him back into the nursery to change his diaper. Marcus and Nathan followed me in there and I handed Marcus the poopy diaper and asked for him to throw it away.
He left the room and I assumed he would put it with the other nursery trash right outside the door. I sat Luke down, and hearing Marcus and Nathan's voices I thought they were right outside the nursery door. I said "go get Daddy!" and he ran out of the room.
(The nursery area is composed of separate rooms that all contact to one exit into the hallway. I thought Marcus was outside of the specific room I was in, yet still in the nursery area before you reach the hallway.)
I grabbed the diaper bag, grabbed my purse, and walked out of the nursery and out into the hallway.
I started walking down the long hall and saw Marcus and Nathan walking away from me about 30 feet away. "Where is Luke", I thought. "WHERE IS LUKE?!", I yelled.
Marcus turned around and said "He was with you!"
I immediately turned around and was going to head back into the nursery area. Thinking surely he was in one of the nursery rooms playing with a toy. But before I took a single step towards the nursery my parental instincts screamed at me saying "OUTSIDE!!!"
Although he had only been missing for seconds, and although there are a double set of doors he would have had to go through, I spun my face towards the nearest set of doors and saw a little bit of navy jacket and red hair flash at me from the other side. Not too far away cars were driving under the car port leaving to go home.
I don't even remember running out there but in a nanosecond I was there and my one year old was smiling up at me. He was oblivious of my fear and proud of himself for trekking outside alone (he must have found the little button that opens the doors automatically for people in wheelchairs). I wrapped him safely within my arms.
Breathe. Breathe. I kept telling myself.
I carried him inside and saw Marcus and Nathan standing there and still not quite sure what happened. "He was outside!" I said bewildered and I saw relaxation, fear, relief, and an understanding of what could have been flash in Marcus' face.
When we arrived at the restaurant for lunch I asked to sit in the car for a minute. I had to focus on breathing and relaxing. I prayed thanking God for his safety and for help in taking away this anxiety that was washing over me. I finally felt peace.
It was a wake up call in a way. It made me realize that it can literally only can take a second. It can only be an innocent misunderstanding. It can be one small assumption that is wrong. Those are things I already knew but now I felt them.
It's scary to think there will be other close calls. With three boys there may be trips to the emergency room (we've already had two with Nathan). There may be broken bones and casts. There may be cuts, and bruises, and bites. But I trust that they are not only under our protection but also under God's. That doesn't mean we'll never make a mistake. And it doesn't mean nothing bad will ever happen. But it means we can go about our lives, being smart and watchful, but not full of fear.
Meanwhile...I believe I will be hugging my boys a little tighter tonight. Thankful they are safe and here and full of life.
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