An unconventional date night...

(this post was first started several weeks ago but I just now finished it- just so ya know)

Since we've been super busy I was looking forward to some alone time with my husband last weekend. His job has been very draining and mentally exhausting lately- add in my stress of trying to be a working momma and it's easy to take things out on each other. Marriage is wonderful but takes work- and lately all that work had been shoved to the back burner where it eventually slipped behind the stove and sat to collect dust and splashed spaghetti sauce.

So when my mom said she will watch the boys for a few hours on Saturday last week- I was stoked. A date? Without kids? With my husband? Yes please.

We used to be incredibly spoiled when it comes to date nights. S P O I L E D. My mom used to watch Nathan every Wednesday night and we'd get him back Thursday after work.

It was amazing. One date night a week for a few years? Who in the world does that???!!!! (it came about because I used to work very late on Wednesdays and early on Thursdays so I wouldn't really see Nathan anyways during that time)

On Friday night I went to bed giddy about our plans for the weekend. I was even going to dress up a bit although we always eat dinner at casual places. We were also going to see The Avengers and I was super excited.

But my body had other plans.

I tossed and turned during the first few hours and kept dreaming of food and then feeling nauseated. After drifting in and out of sleep for several hours I ended up getting sick around 3am and it all went downhill from there.

I started to realize that instead of a date with my husband- I was going to be having a date hovering over the porcelain throne losing a few pounds.

I thought- well at least I am getting sick on the weekend. There are upsides to that. One being that I am out of sick time at work and hopefully I would be well by Monday and not have to miss. The other being that Marcus could care for the kids while I was trying to survive this stomach bug.

Of course---that is unless he got sick too.

Which- he did. Shortly after he got up for the day he started the dreaded "bed to bathroom and back again" routine and I quickly realized he was sicker that I was.

In the past our sickness would stagger so there was always one of us able to care for the kids. This was new territory for us- both parents being sick at the same time? It felt cruel and for the survival of the human race I doubt it happens frequently.

How in the world were we going to make it through the day? Our energy was non existent and just the act of standing up took every ounce of strength we had to accomplish it. By the time we did manage to stand we had to immediately lay back down or dizziness would get the best of us.
And the aches? Oh the aches. I felt like my bones were being beaten by a troll with a hammer.

If I had the energy to panic- I would have. But just when I thought about the situation and felt a nervous anxiety come on- I would fall asleep until Luke woke me up crying in his bedroom.

I honestly don't know how we survived that morning. I know God had to be giving us the small amount of strength to keep the kids and ourselves alive.

Nathan, being 4, can pretty much entertain himself. We did have to drag ourselves to the kitchen occasionally to give him food but other than that he didn't need us much (I tell ya- the 3.5 yr span between our kids is genius- it works on so many levels)

Luke on the other hand? Being 9 months he definitely needs more from us. Midday I was literally crawling around to do what needed to be done.

However- I was not the only one crawling. Luke also chose THIS day to become mobile. Of all days! So he ended up spending a lot of time in his crib. He didn't like it much but I knew he was fine- he was fed and changed and I knew he was safe in there.

Sometime during early afternoon I crawled my way over to my phone to send a pretty pathetic phone call to my mom. I said the kids were ok but Luke had spent the entire day in the crib and asked if there was any way she could take them for awhile.

Originally she was going to watch them at my aunt's Kentucky Derby party while we went on our date so she suggested I drive them over to the party. I think I laughed at the idea. I told her I couldn't even manage to walk to the door let alone drive safely. So she said she would come and get them for the afternoon.

After she left I laid on the couch passing in and out of consciousness for a few hours. The only way I had an inkling of the time was which window the sunlight was streaming in. At one point I pulled myself up to go make sure Marcus was still alive in the bedroom. I saw his foot twitch- took that as confirmation that he was indeed alive and then crawled back to the couch.

My mom brought the kids back later that day and put them to bed. I was so thankful and I was praying I felt better by morning so I could care for them.

Around 9pm Marcus emerged from his hibernation in the bedroom and joined me on the couch. We ended up laying there for a long time watching tv, daring to ingest saltine crackers and occasionally communicating through moans and groans that the other person knew meant "ugh- I feel awful!"

As I was sitting there wishing the day had gone differently and sad we had missed our date- I reached over towards Marcus and grabbed his hand. We laid there holding hands in the haze of painful aches and fuzzy brains and I thought "hmph- in a weird way- this is sorta nice." I realized we did end up getting our date although it was way different than we planned. It was strangely intimate that I knew how awful he felt because I was feeling the exact same way. And as we laid there watching something funny on tv, laughing in our minds because there was no energy to put towards a physical laugh, I was able to ponder how blessed I am. To have a mother who still recuses me when she can. To have those sweet boys who love me even when my parenting is somewhat questionable on a day when I'm sick, and to have Marcus. My best friend who I can still have a good time with even when we feel like poop.

(The next day we were weak but felt much better. Many people we knew ended up getting sick including my sweet momma although we are grateful the boys never caught it. And the next weekend we got a more traditional date night)

Randomness

-Luke got his helmet about a week and a half ago. He's now wearing it 23hrs a day and honestly- I hate it. But it's necessary so we'll all deal with it. It makes his head stink like dirty feet even though I wash him and the helmet daily. My arms have bruises from nursing him with it on. Have you ever put a costume on a dog? Yanno how they freeze, hang their head low and glare at you like "what in the world did you just put on me?"- yep- Luke looked like that every time we put it on him for the first week. He's being a good sport though adjusting to it and I'm proud of him :)

-We finally started Luke on real food. It's not going so well because he likes to spit. A lot. So with him it's more about spray "painting" mommy with squash and sweet potatoes. Slowly but surely!

-The boys started daycare three weeks ago. I could and probably will write a whole post about it. The first week Luke ended up with a fever, pink eye and a ear infection. The second week Nathan was very ill with a stomach bug. This week? So far, so good. It's all about building their immune systems right? :) My sick time at work is now completely gone so there is a lot of praying for health in this household. If I could stay home with them- I would. But I can't so this is where we are. One great thing that has came from our new daycare situation is that I get to see the boys in the mornings now! I get Luke up at 6:30am with me and sit on the couch to nurse him while I eat Greek yogurt and read the bible. It's become my favorite part of the day- and that says a lot because I am NOT a morning person.

-I thought I was losing my mind for about 3 days because every time I looked at my SUV I thought my license plate had changed. The first time I noticed it I was in a parking lot and thought it was someone else's car. I was really confused. I had my license plate memorized and the set of letters and numbers on the back of my vehicle in no way resembled the combination that was stored in my brain. Finally- I hesitantly told Marcus that I must be losing it and my mind was playing tricks on me. He said "I told you I changed your license plate last week"- yep- should have listened but obviously I didn't. I guess I'd rather be a bad listener than lose my mind though right?

-Luke has 3 teeth now. Let's just say "momma no likey" :(

-Nathan has this sneaky way of walking when he's trying to be quiet if Luke is sleeping. It's like in silent movies when someone is trying to sneak up on someone else. Little does he know that he's actually louder when be does it. But it's hilarious- I have to work really hard to hold my laugher in when he does it. Hehe I love that boy!

-I am very very grateful that I have one weekday off each week. The only down side is I have to cram everything into this one day. This week on that day Luke has a helmet fitting appointment, a physical therapy appointment, and his 6 month well visit/ear infection follow up appt. I've never been this busy and this is with no "extracurricular activities". We serve in the nursery at church but other than that we're not involved in anything and yet- so busy. How do people do it with more than 2 kids? Or single parents? Take each day as it comes I guess and rely on God.

-We've lived here for going on 3 years and our landscaping is horrid. The inside of our house is very welcoming but the 2 feet tall grass right up against the side of the house screams "get away!" (my husband does mow- but the side of our house has siding and a weedeater would destroy the siding- that's what happened when our neighbors tried it with their house) We just haven't got around to doing anything about it. It's been low on the priority list. Our poor neighbor's work so hard on their yard and they have to look at ours. They're retired though so they do have more time. However- after thinking about the creatures that could be taking up residence against the side of our house and getting totally creeped out- we decided we're going to do our landscaping soon and put a border around the house. I'm thrilled. I look forward to taking care of the outside of our house more and making it lovely- and a place we would want to spend more time :)

That's it for now! I think of topics all day long I would love to blog about- but when the end of the day approaches I am usually out of energy to do so. Yet I know there are working moms out there that blog- I wonder when they do it. Maybe I just need to take up coffee :)

Hearts at Home and Meeting the Duggars

A chance to get away....

A few months ago my new friend Leslie posted on FB about this conference in Illinois for moms that she would love to go to. I just casually replied "yeah- that would be fun- I'd go with you" without giving it a lot of thought.

Later that day I mentioned it to Marcus and he said "you should go"- I thought "why not?"

You see- one weekend a year Marcus has a "video game weekend" where I just kind of pretend he doesn't exist and I take care of the kids alone while he and his friends/fellow gamers get together and tell ghost stories and trim each other's goatees... What? That's not what happens? You mean to tell me they drink Mt. Dew and 5 hour energy until they glow in the dark and play games all night until their eyes are bloodshot? Hmm...sounds like fun. Not really. :o)

So since he gets a "guys' weekend" I figured I could use a "girls' weekend"- plus my husband has always been supportive when it comes to me getting some "me" time. A movie by myself? Shopping alone? Eating at a restaurant alone with a good book? He makes these things possible. I don't do them often- but from time to time I need to get away for a bit. I know that I need to spend a little time away from the kids to stay sane. All moms need that (especially all of you stay at home mommies!) I feel blessed that I AM able to do that because I know that there are many moms out there who for different reasons can't get away.

Leslie and I made it official the next few days by actually signing up and paying for this conference. I didn't know much about it other than it was a weekend away, that it was Christian conference called Hearts at Home, and Michelle Duggar was one of the speakers.

March seemed forever away at the time we planned this but before we knew it- it crept up.

The kids were extra sweet in the way that they made sure I really NEEDED to get away. The days leading up to this trip were extra...ahem...challenging? By the time March 15th came I was ready to get out of here for a few days. Leslie felt the same way! Thank you kids for preparing us- aren't they just so thoughtful?! ;o)

I realized that this was the first time Leslie and I would have a chance to just talk with no distractions and I was looking forward to getting to know her more.

Leslie drove us and our 5 1/2 hour trip to Illinois seemed to take no time.

When we checked into the hotel late that night we were greeted with a dirty hotel room. They obviously hadn't cleaned it yet because there were sheets on the floor and soiled towels everywhere. When Leslie went to let the lady at the front desk know I texted Marcus and he said "It's the first test of the conference- will you or won't you clean it?" Haha.

We got little sleep that night due to an air conditioner unit that sounded like it was literally going to take off, make three laps around the room, scream something in German and bust through the wall. 5:40am came way too fast.


The First Day...

The two day conference took place in Normal, IL at the Illinois State University campus. 6,228 women attended and 31 different states were represented!

The first day of the conference we were scheduled to attend two main sessions. Spread out during the two days we also went to several "workshops" that covered a variety of helpful topics such as nutrition, balancing work and home, and finances. The workshops were informative but it was the main sessions that I loved the most.

Main session- thousands of women at ISU

They had an amazing worship band called Abide (2/3 of the former group Sierra) What an incredible sound to hear thousands of female voices sing to our God. I know my mood was definitely lifted by the angelic sound of it.

My favorite part of the morning main session was the unforgettable testimony of a woman named Olive. She grew up in Africa and faced many dangers in her life. Through the Compassion organization she was blessed with a sponsorship. That money literally saved her life and she is now a social worker in Georgia. We participate in another organization very similar to Compassion. It was so touching to get to hear from someone who was on the receiving end of a sponsorship and how it truly made all the difference in the world to her and her family.

The morning session featured Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar. They went into detail about their upbringing and how they met and their early years having children. It's truly an interesting story. They originally planned on just a few kids but God had bigger plans for their family and I think the way they handle challenges with such grace and faith is a lesson I could learn from them.

The afternoon session was great too but by that point I think Leslie and I were a little tired and ISU was pretty hot so the heat was getting to us. No one thought they would need the air turned on in March!

One of the speakers in the afternoon session spoke about wisdom. How scripture tells us how valuable is it, how available it is- but then why don't more people have it? Because they don't seek it. She said many things that will hopefully stick with me.

Meeing the Duggars...

During the first day Leslie and I got the chance to meet the Duggars (we actually skipped a workshop because of this...shhhh). The funny thing is when I was talking to Michelle I thought how weird it was to see her "react" to things on tv and all of a sudden I was the one she was reacting to. Does that sound weird? I'm sure it does but that's what was running through my mind when I was talking to her. I told her about how I didn't know it was possible to donate breastmilk until I saw that on her show and now I have had the opportunity to bless several other babies through donations. I also mentioned how my 4 yr old thought it was super cool that I got to meet "the lady with all the kids."

Leslie was pretty excited- she's a big fan :o)

Jim Bob, Me, Michelle, and Joy Anna

I sent Marcus a text saying that I got to meet the Duggars and he sent this picture back and said "He's shocked" Haha.

Mom's night out...

Friday night was MOM'S NIGHT OUT!!!! After a yummy dinner we were entertained by Abide singing an altered "mom" version of "I will survive" while pictures of kids caught making huge messes flashed on the screen.

We then were VERY entertained by a group called 321 Improv. I had seen them twice before on The Music Boat Cruise in 2010 and they are HILARIOUS!!! Improv takes real talent. And I love comedy but unfortuantely clean comedy is hard to find.

Oh boy. Did we make those three men earn their money! We were throwing some pretty interesting and feminine suggestions their way when it came to thinking up things they had to act out. Wow. We were all laughing so hard we were massaging our cheeks. What a mood lifter! I'm sure every woman in that room needed to laugh that hard.

After Mom's Night Out Leslie and I dragged our tired bodies back to the hotel that night. We slept well that night despite the air conditioner :o)

The second day...

We enjoyed the next day because it was a little more slow paced- we didn't have as much to do and took our time walking around the bookstore and looking at all of the venders. I bought a few things for the boys and was beginning to miss them a bit but enjoying my time away at the same time.

Overall- I really had a great time. ISU and Hearts at Home were very accomodatting....so much so that they converted the men's restrooms to female restrooms at for the conference. This is what they did to the urinals. We thought it was pretty funny.

(I hope those plants were later thrown away...)

Hearts at Home also thankfully provided a "Lactation Lounge" for the nursing mommies. It was a private room with ice water and enough outlets for an army. The camaraderie was fun in there- there was a lot of "how old if your little one?" "oh wow you have twins!" "you have HOW much spare milk frozen?"- I was encouraged by all of the other moms that work full time and still nurse their babies- it's not an easy task and it helped to discuss it with other people that carry the mixed feelings of missing our babies while also doing a job that we enjoy and serving the community in the workplace.

Coming home...

The ride home was uneventful in a good way. We talked and talked some more. Baffled by how much we have in common. Several of my close friends now live in different states so I had been praying to make a few close friends that are more local- and I can honestly say that God is answering that prayer.

(The only pic of us I took!)

We got home late Saturday night. I walked in to a CLEAN HOUSE (GO MARCUS!) and the boys were sound asleep. It was hard not to wake them- especially Luke since it was the longest I had ever been away from him.

I really hope I'll get the opportunity to go again! They have several conferences each year in different locations- every mom needs to go to one!

Beauty From Ashes: Tornado Outbreak 2012

For as long as I can remember I have always felt a certain thrill that comes from seeing an approaching storm or hearing a forecast that storms are likely.

 The huge dark cloud rolling in?

Wonderful.

The wind picking up?

Delightful.

Hail? Lightening? Thunder?

YES please!

As a child it was common to make my family sit through my weather girl "forecasts." I used to take an empty toilet paper roll and rig it to "measure" wind speeds (cut a slit, tape a straw sticking out with a flag, add some measurements and voila!) My magnadoodle became a radar or forecast illustration. I was the kid with the mom on the front porch screaming for her kid to "get in the house NOW!!!!" because a storm was rolling in.

My dreams have forever been invaded by tornadoes. It seems several times a week I wake up exhausted in the morning because all night long I was soley responsible for getting a group of imaginary people into the lowest safest place before a massive tornado hit. In each dream, just as I get the group into what appears to be the lowest level of the dwelling it either suddenly morphs into a room made entirely of glass on the 139th floor of a skyscraper- OR- I discover a trap door in the floor that leads to another universe where we're once again on the surface of a structure that has no basement, with a F5 tornado frightfully close and we have to start searching again. (this is why I have dark circles under my eyes)

For a long time I wanted to be a meteorologist. But the college I went to didn't offer that as a major.

So naturally, I chose the next closest thing...

Dental Hygiene.

:o)

Ok maybe they're not all that similar.

But I love my career even though in the corner of my heart I love the weather more.

Fast forward to March 2nd, 2012. I was well aware of the potential danger for about a week leading to that Friday. I had been reading about how the atmosphere was creating PERFECT conditions for a big event that day. :::meteorologist voice:::: A area of low pressure will be moving northeast, behind this front temperatures are unusually warm for this time of year blah blah blah blah. 

We were under a high risk for severe weather. Those are rare and only issued once or twice per year.

Basically? I was pretty excited.

The TOR CON rating was up to a 9 in some areas near us. A 9. NIIIIINNNEEEE!!! That means 90% chance of tornadoes. YIKES and YIPPEE!

Now- in the past I have not done a good job containing this restless anticipation and it has resulted in a pretty freaked out 3 year old. So this time I didn't even let Nathan know what was going on- I was trying to calmy roam the house and pack our emergency bag but my mind wouldn't focus. Every 2 minutes I wanted to check the weather.

Although I was a mix of excitement, anticipation and concern, I eventually got the bag packed, dressed everyone in red (yanno- just in case- easier to see), and we headed over to my aunt's house since she has a basement and we don't (our next house will definitely have one!)

As soon as we got there, already under a tornado warning, I took both boys to the basement.

Luke starts to have a "hey mom- give me milk NOW" freak out but I refused to get him out of the infant carrier since I knew if anything happened he would be safer in there. So while I'm rocking him, shhhing him and trying to will him to believe I wasn't being mean on purpose- Marcus comes downstairs.

I will never forget the look on his face. His eyes were the biggest I had ever seen them.

He said "We got one on the ground"

It took me awhile to register what he said. One on the ground? "One" what? A tornado? No way...

My face went pale. I eventually muttered "Are you serious?"

He continued to say he saw one northwest of here, maybe a few miles away and it was HUGE.

I suddenly was so flooded with emotions that I felt like I was on the verge of a Kristen Bell Sloth Freakout Episode.

I felt pulled in many directions.

I wanted to run upstairs and see it for myself. I've ALWAYS wanted to see one. I've dreamed about it my whole life!

I wanted to think Marcus was kidding- of course there wasn't a deadly tornado near us.

And I wanted to protect my family- these two little lives entrusted to me.

It didn't take long for the parental protection instinct to kick in. I quickly took the boys underneath the stairs in the basement. While Luke was still screaming his poor little heart out I shoved myself under the stairs with them and took a sleeping bag my aunt handed me and covered all of us.

And waited.

And prayed.

Nathan said "Mommy, I'm scared" so I then prayed out loud. Reminding Nathan that our God is bigger than any storm and He is in control.

After a few minutes I realized Marcus was gone. I yelled for him to come back downstairs and he eventually did (now I know what my mom felt like yelling for me to come in the house when a storm was approaching as a kid). He said the tornado he saw was long gone but that on the news he heard that we were getting several waves of this storm and the next one was a few minutes away. So we waited and prayed some more.

After some time Marcus said he thought we were fine for awhile I decided to get Luke out and feed him and I handed Nathan a box of raisins to get his mind off of the storm.

Waiting out the storm. Nathan didn't like being stuck under the stairs.

My aunt then got a phone call and turned to me and said "Henryville is gone. The school is destroyed"

The students?!?!? The whole town? My brain couldn't fully comprehend what she was saying. How is the town that's 5 minutes north of us simply gone? And the students? Many schools let the students go home early because of the storms but Henryville didn't. Were they in the school when it was hit? Are they ok?

When we finally got the all clear for our area, we quietly went to the car and drove home. The term "close call" rolling around in our minds.

For the next several days the stories began to unfold on the news. Through tears- We heard these stories...praying for these families to survive.

A mother was seriously injured while shielding her two children in their basement (She ended up losing both legs)

A toddler was found in a field miles from her home- her baby sister, older brother and parents were killed in the storm (The toddler, Angel, passed away a few days later)

A whole family was seriously injured (later found out they are cousins of mine)- the dad, Darrell, carried each of his injured children to the grandma's house immediately after the tornado leveled their own house. He did this while he was suffering from a punctured lung and many broken bones from the waist up: all of his ribs, jaw, a shoulder, clavicle and his sternum. (read their story here... http://mysonginthenight.com/2012/03/03/gilles-family-tornado-devastation-update/)

Images that we just couldn't believe were captured a few miles down the road flooded our minds.

(www.theoriginalweatherblog.blogspot.com)

This is the same  tornado Marcus saw from our house.

(Photo: Dan Goldblatt/WFIU News) 

Henryville High School

(www.whtc.com)

(www.bellenews.com)

Henryville

Several weeks after the storm- I continue to be amazed at our community. How people are pulling together to reach out to those affected and remind them that there is hope. So many are donating their time, praying for Henryville and all those touched by this tragedy, giving items in need and being there to be the shoulder to cry on or listening ear.

God is the Creator. His signature is turning ashes into beauty. We are seeing His work in this disaster.

Sometimes in the fog of something we don't understand we want to get stuck in the "why?'s- but good is coming out of this.

Henryville will never be the same. We're all convinced it will be better. Stronger. United. A symbol of hope for everyone who remembers and sees this town that will rise out of the rubble.

I find myself thinking "a few miles south" "a few miles south" "a few miles south"

Just a few miles south and that would have been my home destroyed. Possibly my family. My life.

As a child we lost everything in a house fire so in a way I do understand how the kids feel that lost their possessions. But things are things. Stuff is stuff. It's lives that matter.

A few facts:

It was an F4 tornado that hit Henryville. That was also the same on Marcus saw.

There were 11 states affected on March 2nd and 3rd, 128 tornado sightings and 45 tornadoes confirmed. (NAOO)

34 people lost their lives in KY and IN. The towns most severely affected were Marysville, IN, Henryville, IN, and West Liberty, KY.

Our church is housing Samaritan's Purse Disaster Relief and to date our church, with the help of Samaritan's Purse, has raised $79,000 for tornado relief, sent out over 1,300 volunteers, clocked more than 10,000 hours- and most importantly- 25 people have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. 

This one says it all....

Beauty from ashes.

In which I ramble about my flat headed baby...

Nathan loved his paci. LOVED it. For 2 years.

Luke? Nope.

What does he love?

His fingers.

I bought all kinds of pacifiers for him when he was born. Knowing and hoping that he would love them as much as his brother. I knew they reduced the risk of SIDS (or so I have read) and I also thought it had a little to do with why Nathan slept through the night quickly. Also, I would rather have my child addicted to something I could take away instead of the dreaded thumb. Cuz you can't cut their thumb off. Well you could. But. How Horrible. Ok moving on....

I offered Luke a paci when he was two weeks old (I waited due to bfing) and he considered it for a day or two and then started spitting that thing out, throwing those fingers in his mouth and giving me a look that was like "Mooomm...why are you giving me this plastic thing when I have these two wonderful fingers on this hand of mine that I can suck on anytime I want?"

So I was like "hmm. He's a finger sucker. I guess it's better than a thumb" Oh well.

It took us a little while to realize he didn't just suck his fingers. He sucked the fingers on his LEFT hand. Always left. ALWAYS.

Everyonce in a while, if his left hand is occupied holding a toy, he'll stick his right hand in his mouth and try out the different finger combinations. But he can't ever seem to find those middle two on the right hand and after a few seconds of trying you see him realize "Oh, wrong hand" and pop- in goes the left hand fingers into his mouth!

This started to create a problem that started off small and became a much bigger one.

A flat spot.

Since he was always turned slightly to the left for the fingers- he developed a flat spot on that side.

(at 4 months)

It kept getting worse and positioning didn't seem to help.

At his 4 month appt I mentioned it to the pediatrician and he said "oh, he's fine"

When Luke was 5 months we were beginning to notice that his left ear was slowly migrating closer to his face and starting to stick out more and we got more concerned.

At his 5 month appt I once again asked the pediatrician if Luke might need a helmet. He said "eh, they only do that in severe cases" and didn't even look at his head closer. The whole appt Luke was laying on his back- so the doctor didn't even look to see that his ears were misaligned or that the flat spot was getting worse.

Finally, with a friends suggestion who has been through this with her twins, Marcus and I decided we need to look into getting a helmet ourselves.

I knew if we didn't I would regret it every time I looked at that misshapen head of that little boy I love so much. Even when he grew up and was a man- I could easily see myself sighing and wishing we fixed his head when it was still pliable. Plus- what if he needed glasses? And his ear was misaligned? They would need to be specially made. And headsets? Those wouldn't work well.

So we did what my friend recommended. Contacted First Steps and set up an evaluation with a Physical Therapist and Developemental Specialist.

I learned a lot at the evaluation and I'll leave that for another post but they did recommend that we look into a helmet and referred us to a neurologist. (He also has some issues with his right side since he prefers his left so much)

Today I took Luke to his appt with the neurologist. Just me and my baby.

While we waited for the doctor in the exam room I took a few minutes to nurse Luke so he wouldn't be fussy when the doctor was in. I then took some time digging some wax out of his ear and picking dry skin off of him (what? am I the only one that picks at my baby like we're primates?)

Then we sat and played while we waited. I did different things that made him giggle. I used my hand to pretend I was attacking his face which he LOVED.

And then I realized something sad and I was shocked. Shocked at how little time I spend playing with this adorable baby of mine. The mom guilt thing? I'm pretty good about not having issues with that but it hit me pretty hard when I realized this.

How could I not spend a lot of time playing with him? Well- I work. And I have an older child. And most of the time I am with Luke I'm nursing him. At home after he's fed I sit him down so I can do laundry or clean or wipe my oldest child's behind or wash cloth diapers or make dinner or or or or. Of course I smile at Luke and talk to him here and there. I sometimes put him in the high chair to play while I make dinner.

But to just sit and play with him? Find new ways to get him to laugh? Talk to him?

I definitely don't do that enough.

Maybe it's part of having a second child. And maybe it has a lot to do with my working outside of the house. But it's going to change. I'm going to play with that little boy much more- they grow SOOOO fast it's just insane.

I realized I'm stuck in a "do for" baby and not "do with" baby phase.

Anyways...

Back to the doctor visit...

Luke's doctor was very nice and took time to answer questions.

He said that Luke definitely needs a helmet but first we had to get some xrays. The xrays are to rule out craniosynostosis which is when the plates of the skull fuse to early. It can also cause a misshapen head. We're 99% sure that it's a positional issue but it's required to rule craniosynostosis out before we can proceed for the helmet.

The doctor said he'll most likely have a helmet for a few months and that he's at the ideal time to get one. Too young and their necks aren't strong enough for one. Too old and their head isn't as pliable and it's harder to fix.

The doctor gave me two referrals- one to get the necessary xrays and another for the helmet.

They said we could go to the hospital right away to get the xrays and I decided that was the best thing to do since we rarely make it over to that area and of course we want to get the helmet on him asap.

I took Luke to the car first to get the boba baby carrier (L O V E that thing!), strapped the little wiggly worm to me, and we walked a little ways to the hospital. We registered. Luke took a nap in the carrier. Then got the xrays (which he screamed during since he had just woken up and didn't want to be held down)

Now the next step is his appt in a few days to get fitted for the helmet. The neurologist will look at the xrays tomorrow and call me to let me know for sure it isn't craniosynostosis and then we're clear to proceed with the helmet.

After the fitting it will take 3 weeks for them to custom make the helmet and hopefully soon he'll have a lovely round head and ears that line up! Every time I look at that perfect head I'm going to be so glad we did this.

But honestly- I'm NOT looking forward to it although it's necessary. Nursing a baby with a hard helmet on? Not gonna be fun. Plus all the "what's wrong with your kid?" comments and stares. But I'm sure we're all adapt to it.

He'll have to wear it 23 hours a day. Just an hour off to give him a bath and clean the helmet.

Sometimes people pay professionals to paint the helmet. It's something fun I would like to do myself! I'll have to look into what paint to use etc.

(taken today)

I was joking with a friend that although Luke's head will be protected- the rest of us will most likely have injuries because of Luke accidently hitting us with his helmet head.

Then I'll return to the doctor with a boy with a perfect head but maybe I'll be all bruised and misshapen and need a helmet myself :o)

Lunch With Strangers

During the holidays there was a day where I got off work at noon. For half the day I was receiving holiday pay. Yippee!

My original plans were to go pick up the boys from my aunt's house and take them home early.

But the night before I realized how silly that was. Hello? I had a few hours to myself that I would be able to use as I please. As a working mom- or any mom for that matter- this opportunity doesn't present itself very often.

Plus- the boys' cousins were at my aunt's house as well and I knew if I tried to take Nathan home early it would result in a complete "how dare you take me away from this place where I'm having the most fun ever and make me go hooommmeeee???!!!" meltdown. Cuz yanno- home- isn't it the place where his family is and his toys and good food and love? Yeah- but that never seems appealing when you're having fun somewhere else.

So I let my aunt know I got off work at noon but wouldn't be there to get the boys for several hours afterwards.

Now- what was I to do? Lunch alone and a good book felt like it would be pure bliss.

So after work I went to the store and got the second book in the trilogy I was reading and decided on a yummy lunch at Panera bread- one of my favorite places to eat.

I walked into Panera and whooooa the place was packed!! It appeared every seat was taken. Every.last.one. It guess being close to the holidays many other people were enjoying time off from work.

I ordered my food anyways and began roaming for a table- eyeing people to see if they were done eating and might possibly be getting up soon.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

THERE!

A vacant table.

I ran and threw myself on top of the table attacking it like a lion to a zebra in Africa.

Ok not really but I did quickly make my way to it and gracefully sat down- feeling a little guilty that my measly little self was taking up a table for four- but there were no other options.

Right when I took a bite of my sandwich and picked up my delightful book anticipating to be mentally transported to Italy- a woman came up to me.

"Would you mind if my friend and I join you?" she asked.

She was an older woman with a very warm smile- and although a part of me was disappointed for a second that I wasn't going to get my lunch alone with book experience- I said "I don't mind" and they took their seats.

Nancy and Ruth.

The next 40 minutes we talked about nothing and everything. Nancy was in her 80's a Ruth was in her 50's.

We talked about family and jobs and inheritance (Nancy was buying her granddaughter a house for part of her inheritance- whhaaa?) and which bank has the best customer service (Nancy felt passionately about this). Books. Food. Christmas. Churches. Jewerly. Broadway. We talked a lot and by the end of lunch any passerby would have thought we were grandmother, daughter, and granddaugter.

Our conversation was sweet and easy. And it didn't take long for me to know that this was much more refreshing than lunch alone with a book.

I knew as soon as they sat down this happened for a reason. If the only reason was to lift eachother's moods- it was still a reason.

In fact shortly after they sat down a table nearby opened up. I saw them eye it and than Nancy said "let's stay here and leave that for someone else who needs it" and I was glad they stayed :)

It got me thinking though...this whole lunch with strangers...

Of how we react to those around us.

How little eye contact we share.

How many times someone opened the door for me and even though I murmured a "thank you" I didn't even look at their face as I said it.

An elevator ride alone with a stranger where both people stay quiet instead of sharing a short simple conversation.

When did we become a society that only invests in ongoing relationships?

When did any interaction with someone we don't know become not worth our time?

When did we assume we don't have anything to learn from eachother?

When did we become so alone in a world full of people?

What if we did make more of an effort to make eye contact, have short conversations with someone you don't know, or even take the risky move of having lunch with strangers?

We always focus on the negative encounters with strangers. That person who might give you a nasty look when your toddler is having a melt down for example.

But what if we all became better strangers? Helping strangers in little ways. Opening doors more. Telling people you hope they have a wonderful day and MEAN IT. Smiling more at people. Complimenting strangers.

Yes there are some wackos out there and definitely strangers we need to stay clear of.

But there is also a lot of good we can receive from strangers and simple things we can do and say to lift someone's mood.

I hope I never forget my lunch with Nancy and Ruth.

God knew I needed that more than being alone with my book.

And I hope I become a better stranger because of it.

Have a great Friday!

Luke is 4 months

Dearest Luke,

On Christmas Eve you turned 4 months old.

And on Christmas Day I was reminded about how exactly one year ago on Christmas day we found out you were on your way. What an amazing Christmas present.

PERSONALITY

Your personality is really starting to shine and you are ALWAYS smiling. I mean...A L W A Y S.

You might be a morning person because as soon as I come in your room in the morning you are already smiling ear to ear- just happy. And it's so contagious and joyful!


You also have started to get upset when someone is showing you attention but then has to walk away. You don't get too mad but just whine like "where did you go?!"

SIZE

You, my man, are growing growing and growing! I can't believe your size! You are wearing 9 months and some 12 months and you are only 4 months! But you don't look overfed- just big! You do prefer to eat small frequent meals. When you take a bottle you only eat maybe 5 oz at a time if that. But you prefer to eat every 3 hours at least during the day.

You haven't been weighed in awhile but I would guess around 16 lbs.

We're learning more and more about cloth diapers. Every once in a while we run into an issue. Recently it's been ammonia buildup. I'm still glad we chose cloth diapers because there are numerous benefits however all of the trial and error isn't so fun. Sometimes you wear disposible diapers and you just moved up to a size 3.

NEW DEVELOPMENTS

You don't take pacifiers anymore. You prefer to suck on two of your fingers on your left hand and always seem to have them in your mouth.


You can now hold toys and chew on them. You are starting to reach for things you see but still need some help sometimes grabbing onto them.


You continue to "talk" non-stop. You seem to like the sound of your voice and want to coo to someone as soon as you notice they are looking at you. We're definitely a family of talkers and you fit right in!

EATING AND SLEEPING

You still nurse like a pro and during Thanksgiving you quit getting up to eat in the middle of the night. My only theory is that you got so much mommy time while I was off work for Thanksgiving that you got your "mommy fix" and no longer needed to see me in the middle of the night. You have slept at least 9 hours straight ever since! I am so grateful for this since the sleep deprivation was really starting to make me make mistakes at work! The only down side is that now on work days I don't see you from the time I put you to bed til I get home from work. Which is 9pm one night til 5pm the next day. Sometimes it's really hard on me but it makes me cherish the days at home I do get to spend with you.



HEALTH

A problem with you preferring to suck on your left hand is that you always want to lay on the left side of your head. Hence...your noggin' is a little lopsided. Your daddy and I are doing everything we can to try to get you to face to your right more hoping that we don't have to resort to the helmet someday.


Your skin. Oh your skin. It's always something. I guess it comes with the whole red hair and light complexion. The eczema has improved greatly since I started using BabyGanics lotion and body wash.


However, now you tend to get some nasty rashes in all of your creases (armpits, behind knees, neck) I've tried aquaphor which helps a little but yesterday I tried triple paste and it seems to clear it up the most. I'm going to ask your doctor about it when you have your next appt. We keep it clean and dry but last week it still looked like this...

(don't worry- it looks much better today!)

BROTHERLY LOVE

No one makes you light up as much as your brother Nathan. In fact- Nathan doing the jumping jacks makes you crack up the most! It's pretty funny to watch. I love watching you two together.




(Nathan's eyes are closed but I still like this pic- look at that red hair!)

I love to watch you with your daddy too. You seem to have him wrapped around your finger a bit...


We love you little man!